Do you Talk to Yourself?
I hung out with a long time student of mine yesterday and she described someone as, “he doesn’t talk to himself,” to explain a lack of self-awareness. SO GOOD.
How often do you talk to yourself? Like reaaaaally talk? What’s your inner dialogue? How well do you know yourself? It’s all part of caring for you!
There’s sometimes fear around getting to know ourselves because we’re afraid of what we might see. Shining awareness on the dark parts just makes them light. This is where my mentors have been so important. They help me see all of me from a higher perspective. Self-cultivation is especially important during transitions (like going to college, starting a new school year, trying something new, etc.) when you’re inherently getting to know a different version of yourself. Wanna have a chat with yourself? These are things that help me start the conversation:
✨take a walk
✨listen to music
✨spend time with mentors
✨turn off the phone
✨pay attention to the world around you
✨go be alone
Let me know how the convo goes!
** Also not talking to myself in this pic, but laughing at @leshon and having my photo taken by the talented Maja Bakija @maja_bee **
Click here for video. My relationship to social media is confusing. Just when I’m 100% sure I want to throw my phone in the Hudson River and make anyone who wants to talk to me come find me in person, I see a great dance video, a funny meme, or a cute outfit.
Most of the time, I feel really drained by it all and today I wanted to share a video about what I keep in mind when I’m online. People ONLY show you what they want you to see and that INCLUDES ME. I am a billion times more than what I share here. Highs, lows, and everything in between.
Side note, I feel like this is super important for college freshmen. It’s so easy to think that everyone is adjusting to college life better than you based on social media! It’s not true. College is a big transition. It’s normal to be multi-feeling about it! Click here for video.
When I went away to college it was the most freedom that I had experienced up to that point. As exciting and new as that was, it was also overwhelming. Students today are more stressed than ever and it’s totally scary to go to college not knowing how to take care of yourself.
Check out today’s video on what it means to take care of yourself.
Today is a post dedicated to dispelling college myths. Whether you’re coming home from your freshmen year or gearing up to go, this is for you!
I love working with college freshmen. It’s such a transformative stage of life that can be both totally thrilling and wildly overwhelming. Here are a few topics that I’m always helping girls work through.
You’ll be Instantly happy and this is the BEST TIME of your LIFE.
True, college can be great. I LOVED college, but cut yourself a break. Especially for freshmen, you are in a new place, squeezed into a room with a stranger, facing new academic, social, and emotional challenges. It is okay to feel like you are having a time.
You’ll Meet your Best Friends First Semester Freshmen Year
Slow your roll. You don’t actually see who everyone truly is until second semester then the real personalities come out. I made one of my best friends my senior year so don’t write people off just because they didn’t live on your floor freshmen year.
All your High School Friends are Loving Their College Experience
Do not compare your real life to the social media life of your high school friends. I’ve said this time and time again: Everyone is Lying to you on Social Media (including me). You don’t have the full story. You don’t know everything that’s going on. People only show you what they want you to see. It’s such a small segment of what’s actually happening. There is a huge chance that they probably feel the exact same amount of overwhelmed you do.
College is a major life change. These are things I wish someone told me! I feel that I sought out mentors when I applied to internships and jobs for the first time. I could have really benefited from mentorship before even heading off to school. To talk through any of these topics or for more information please feel free to reach out!
Here’s the deal about being a freshmen in college: everyone feels the exact same way you do. It’s draining to put yourself out there, meeting new people, being in a new environment… and here’s the kicker: everyone is just being the version of themselves that they want you to see (this includes you too) which is exhausting. What we really long for as human beings is connection… and therein lies the paradox. You’re all stumbling around looking for your tribe, when you’re not really being “yourself”. When people let you see their perfect imperfectness it opens that bond to the real part of people that we so desperately long for, especially in the throes of something unfamiliar. So you’re sitting in someone’s cramped dorm room, feeling like you’re having a hard time adjusting, hearing someone talk about something and you’re not listening because you’re texting your friends from home. The real problem is not that you’re bad at making new friends, it’s that no one is truly being authentic, but everyone is still looking to form connection. It’s hard to be yourself as you start the transformative journey of college because you’re changing.
Take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. Everyone feels left out. Everyone feels awkward. No one feels like they really belong after two weeks or even months of starting a new school. Choose your friends wisely. Take time to discern other people’s values. Hang around people who make you feel energized. Pay attention to when you feel drained. You don’t really get to see people for who they truly are until second semester. This is when the cracks of realness can’t help but begin to show.
So what do you do now that you’re in the middle of a major transition? Root into something greater than yourself. It’s scary to put yourself out there! Everyone is dying to be in their dorm room alone, escaping. During transitions we hold onto the familiar more than ever. We miss our families, our homes, even the ex-boyfriends we were looking forward to getting away from. Grounding in something bigger enables us to grow and move knowing that we’re supported.
You’re not bad at change. You’re not socially awkward. Transitions are tough. They push us to grow; to become better people. The secret to happiness in everything from friendships to romantic relationships to success in life during and after college is to be yourself. People like you when you’re being authentic and real. They like that you aren’t perfect. Take off your mask. Be warm. Be open. Be brave. Listen when people speak. Put down your phone. Ask someone to grab dinner with you. Ask a different person to go to the gym.
What I really encourage anyone starting anything new is to set up a daily practice of getting still and quiet. It will give you a chance (especially when there’s chaos around you) to listen to yourself; to develop a relationship to yourself. Being still and quiet will help you connect to that little voice inside of you. I call this your Inner GPS. It will help you pick the right friends, guide you to the right guy, help you figure out the right major to make you both happy and profitable. The next time you feel growing pains remember you’re not alone, everyone feels like you do, and remember to use your inner GPS. It’s there for a reason. All you have to do is get quiet enough to listen.