Click here for video. My relationship to social media is confusing. Just when I’m 100% sure I want to throw my phone in the Hudson River and make anyone who wants to talk to me come find me in person, I see a great dance video, a funny meme, or a cute outfit.
Most of the time, I feel really drained by it all and today I wanted to share a video about what I keep in mind when I’m online. People ONLY show you what they want you to see and that INCLUDES ME. I am a billion times more than what I share here. Highs, lows, and everything in between.
Side note, I feel like this is super important for college freshmen. It’s so easy to think that everyone is adjusting to college life better than you based on social media! It’s not true. College is a big transition. It’s normal to be multi-feeling about it! Click here for video.
I always remind the girls I work with that people online only show you what they want you to see and I’m included in this. There are a million things I’m not sharing here. I haven’t shared that I was robbed a few weeks ago in my own building or that I have about zero holiday spirit since my grandparents passed away. Even now, I’m purposely leaving things out of my story both good and bad. With how easily it is to mindlessly scroll through social media, it’s important to remember that what we see isn’t the whole picture.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we share ourselves and how much time I spend online after reading statements from an interview Sean Parker, the onetime founding president of Facebook and co-founder of Napster, gave about social media:
“We need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once in a while, because someone liked or commented on a photo or a post or whatever. And that’s going to get you to contribute more content, and that’s going to get you … more likes and comments… It’s a social-validation feedback loop … exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology… God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
I am hypocritically posting publicly, but Parker’s comments made me think about how I don’t want to be addicted to the dopamine hits of “likes and comments” especially when the forum is inherently inauthentic. Why do I zone out of my own life to watch other people’s fake lives? I’m in my 20’s and struggle with this. Imagine the susceptibility of adolescents who are searching for identity and seeking the approval of peers during an incredibly transformative period of time. Of course, there are benefits to social media, but this is something that has shifted my online usage and that is something I want to share.
It’s easy to feel upset when you see all your friends hanging out on social media and either you weren’t invited or couldn’t make it. Today I talk about what I do when I see on social media that I’m left out!
This is a HARD question. It’s easy to get mad at our parents when they won’t let you do what you’d like (for me, we always fought over concerts)! Check out my video for insights when your mom won’t let you have Instagram.
As we head into 2016, I wanted to share my most popular videos over the year. It’s like a big #MeToo or knowing that you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through. Check out what topics were important to girls in 2015!
How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep
A couple of weekends ago, I worked on an exciting project with my students (which I cannot wait to share with you soon). During it, I asked each girl what her favorite topic that we’ve covered during our Mentoring Sessions was. EVERY girl said the advice they got about sleeping better was really helpful, so I decided to share it here on the blog today!
Everything You Need to Know Before Going to Prom
The whole prom process was stressful for me. Between asking someone to the dance (I went to an all girls high school), finding a dress that I actually felt good in, and praying that I was invited to an after-party, I didn’t really have that much fun because of all the pressure I put on myself. This is all the best Modern Mentor advice for a having authentic fun at prom!
How to Get a Boyfriend
When my student asked me to help her get a boyfriend I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. As a professional big sister I get relationship questions all the time. In a world of Snapchat, texts, and dating apps, finding someone that’s a good fit can be confusing. If you’ve ever wondered what you need to do to get a boyfriend this blog is for you!
How to Handle Other People’s Bad Attitudes
It stinks when you’re excited about something and the people around you aren’t. Maybe you really like soccer practice but everyone else complains about the coach. Maybe you’re really excited about a class, but everyone is down on it. You can’t change other people, but you can help to make the situation better. Click the video to hear what to do when the people around you have a bad attitude.
How to Create Happy Body Habits
Sometimes it’s hard to like the way you look. When we think or do negative things to our bodies, it can become a habit without us even knowing it. In today’s video, I’m giving step by step advice for creating happy body habits. You were given your body so that you could share your gifts, not get upset when it doesn’t look the way you want. Check out this video to learn how to make liking yourself a habit!
How to Actually Talk to Your Parents
Going to your parents for advice can sometimes be hard, but I know from experience that if you open up to them they can actually be a big help. Plus, they really want to hear from you! Today, I’m sharing helpful tips for talking to your parents or anyone you’re thinking of going to for advice.
What to do when your Best Friend Moves
My best friend moved from NYC to Los Angeles at the end of June. This became a total #MeToo Moment when in a Mentoring Session one of my students told me her best friend was moving too. While it can be sad you won’t see your BFF as often, there are a lot of things to look forward to when a friend moves.
What to do when Mom stops you from doing something fun!
So the title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s one of the main questions I get. Sometimes our parents can feel like a roadblock to our fun, but what if there was another way to look at it? Check it out!!
What to do when you feel like you don’t have a Best Friend (and Everyone else does)
Today’s topic is super important before heading back to school. My students and I have been chatting and one of the biggest worries is friendship. Sometimes we haven’t seen our school friends in awhile and wonder if we’re going to get back into the flow of things. Still the fear I hear about the most is not having a best friend when everyone else does. In today’s video, I’m giving advice about comparing our friendships to others and what to remember on your first day of school!
What Happens When you Put Away your Phone
A couple weeks ago, my student, Caroline, and I did a phone challenge. I read an article about someone who never looked at his phone when he was around other people so I wanted to try it. Let me tell you… it. was. hard. Check out today’s video where we chat about how it went and what we learned!
My sister and I got back from a trip abroad on Sunday and I literally had the best time ever. With all the quality time, I learned two really big lessons that I feel EVERY GIRL has to know. I definitely struggle with these things and I’m happy I got the opportunity to work on it!
The other day I found myself jealous as I scanned through a (stranger’s) instagram feed. The girl looked like she was having a super successful day while I was figuring out how to delete hacked code from my website… in my pajamas. Jealousy and envy are normal human emotions that aren’t talked about too often. Even in the mentoring groups I run as a professional big sister, we kind of breeze by it and instead talk about comparing. So what is jealousy really? For the rest of the article click here.