Everyone is Lying on Social Media and So Am I

Here’s a super personal one:

Everyone is lying on social media and so am I.

I always remind the girls I work with that people online only show you what they want you to see and I’m included in this. There are a million things I’m not sharing here. I haven’t shared that I was robbed a few weeks ago in my own building or that I have about zero holiday spirit since my grandparents passed away. Even now, I’m purposely leaving things out of my story both good and bad. With how easily it is to mindlessly scroll through social media, it’s important to remember that what we see isn’t the whole picture.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we share ourselves and how much time I spend online after reading statements from an interview Sean Parker, the onetime founding president of Facebook and co-founder of Napster, gave about social media:

“We need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once in a while, because someone liked or commented on a photo or a post or whatever. And that’s going to get you to contribute more content, and that’s going to get you … more likes and comments… It’s a social-validation feedback loop … exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology… God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.” 

I am hypocritically posting publicly, but Parker’s comments made me think about how I don’t want to be addicted to the dopamine hits of “likes and comments” especially when the forum is inherently inauthentic. Why do I zone out of my own life to watch other people’s fake lives? I’m in my 20’s and struggle with this. Imagine the susceptibility of adolescents who are searching for identity and seeking the approval of peers during an incredibly transformative period of time. Of course, there are benefits to social media, but this is something that has shifted my online usage and that is something I want to share. 

A Week in the Life of a Modern Mentor

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A note about Halloween: 

This Halloween so many girls reached out to me panicking. There was stress over what costumes to wear, which group of friends to dress up with, which group of friends to go trick-or-treating with and the disappointment when things didn’t work out the way they wanted. November 1st, I heard all about the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) from all the pictures they’ve been seeing online of everyone else’s Halloween. 

All the stress over the holiday definitely took away from the fun. We forget that people are only showing us what they want us to see, not the whole story. Also, this is an amazing #MeToo moment. So many girls reached out to me and need to hear that they’re not alone.

In today’s blog, I’m sharing a week in life of a Modern Mentor and in order to give you a more whole version of the story, I’ve also included insight on what’s not shown. I hope you enjoy!

Thursday: 

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I spent all day getting ready for Friday’s #HangIn. I packed up everything the night before (something I recommend to my students too)! These are all the water bottles that I wrapped in my stickers while watching Scandal.

Not pictured: Putting stickers on water bottles took a long time! Also, this picture can’t show you how nervous/excited I was for the event. I get afraid I’m going to forget something and I always get butterflies before a new group.

Friday: 

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The HangIn! I had the best time on Friday. The first part of the class was yoga to center my students then we went into a super fun talk about social media/texting/everything before finishing up with a really awesome Q&A.  All the girls took a polaroid before class that they were able to take home after. Props included for the pics!

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While the girls were in the yoga class, I hung up all the pictures. I even wrote little messages on the clothes pins too!

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The girls were amazing during our chat!

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My friend Cat (on the right) taught the yoga class!

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Not pictured: The torrential rain that happened RIGHT before the HangIn started. It stressed me out, soaked the bottom of my jeans, and made me feel rushed when I finally did get to the studio. Also I was super nervous. I always want to make sure everyone finds the space and has a great time! It’s sometimes hard being a mentor and putting yourself out there!

Saturday:

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Saturday night I met up with college friends who were in town. It was super fun to catch up. I miss them.

Not pictured: All the work I did before hanging out with my friends. I had groups, privates, and emails to get back on. By the time we got back from dinner, I wanted to fall asleep! #GroupNap

Sunday:

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My sister, cousin, and I went for a hike near the George Washington Bridge. The views were amazing and it was perfect day for a hike.

Not pictured: We originally went to a trail that was closed because of bears! Eek! Also we had lots and lots of girl talk.

 

Monday:

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I got sent a picture of my Modern Mentor card hung up in a dorm room. It made me so happy to know that my work is growing and making an impact on girls.

Not pictured: All the hard work it took (and still takes) to be a resource for girls!

Tuesday:

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On Tuesdays I have dance. We had rehearsal at a different studio this particular class and we were so squished.

Not pictured: All the rushing I did to make it to rehearsal on time.

Wednesday:

Nothing. I didn’t take any pictures. I was mentoring and packing for my trip to Dallas the next day.

Thursday:

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I got to Dallas and became very familiar with the Sprinkles Cupcake ATM.

Not pictured: How excited my best friend and I were to see Taylor Swift. We must have listened to the 1989 album a million times. Also not pictured, how I cried through the airport when I left Dallas. Best friends are the best!

 

 

Friday vibes #fbf #taylorswift @swewillrocku

A video posted by Maggie DiPasquale (@maggiedipasquale) on

Authentic Posting and the Story you’re Creating

Today I’m sharing a video that I filmed at my Party Series lecture. At my Prep Programs a huge majority of our Q&A was spent on posting, texting, and communicating in general so I wanted to share a little clip about authentic posting and how we’re showing ourselves online (and if matches how we are in person). How do you know you’ve posted authentically? Let me know in the comments below!