Two Tips for Managing Perfectionism
So many of my students are perfectionists and I really relate to this because I’m hard on myself too. If you put a lot of pressure on yourself this is the right episode for you:
I was at a dance class once and we did an improv warm-up. The teacher was like, “move like you’re sad, move like it’s sunny, move like it’s windy, move like you’re happy.” She had all these different prompts and then I made a joke that we should move like you’re thinking about something weird you did in 2007. Everyone laughed because everyone related to bringing up something in your mind that you’ve done wrong before and replaying it in your head.
My mentor Megan McDowell always tells me that sometimes I don’t want to accept my humanness. All that means is that I have limitations and that as a human I fall short at times. It’s not even really that you’re falling short it just is that you are human. I did an interview with Megan here that’s on feeling big feelings and if you’re perfection-y I am SURE you’re working through some big feelings:
If you’re someone who ruminates on things you’ve did wrong or something that you feel bad about, remember shortcomings are part of being human. Your limitations make you human; not something to continue to beat yourself up about.
When I’m being hard on myself, I find it really helpful to just identify my own humanness. I name the mistake as my humanness and in recognizing it for what it is, it sort of dissipates. I don’t hold the same standards for myself that I was the moment before I pointed out my humanness.
An exercise I do when I’m getting in a perfection-y rumination spiral is I have a chat with the 80 year old version of myself so it’s Grandma Maggie in my head. I have a conversation with this older wiser version of myself that has lived more life than I’ve lived right now and I kind of see what she has to say about it. Whether it’s through journaling or meditation. She NEVER tells me to beat myself up more. She mostly just tells me to let it go. It’s always really helpful to have this loving conversation with the older wiser version of myself. You could even see it as maybe talking to your higher-self.
If you’re someone who identifies as a perfectionist I am holding space for you and I get it! Sending everyone so much love!
anxious? I got you!
check out this pep-talk podcast playlist to help you
For those of us that overanalyze…
Have you ever hung out with people, had a great time, only to wake up with anxiety about what you said or did? If you’re someone that replays every stupid thing you did in your head, this episode is for you. I share my major tips for curing an emotional hangover and how to cut yourself slack for being human.
how to deal with anxiety
Have you ever felt anxiety begin to creep up and then you start to worry about feeling anxious on top of it? I get it. I’ve been there too. This anxiety checklist is what I go to first when I feel anxiety coming on. I take a look at this list, make some tweaks, and am able to help myself feel better.
Here’s the meditation I do when I feel anxious:
College, Stress, and your Tipping Point. College stress can feel like a game of jenga: one false move and you’re crying in public. Full video here on how to handle stress while at college!
Do you Talk to Yourself?
I hung out with a long time student of mine yesterday and she described someone as, “he doesn’t talk to himself,” to explain a lack of self-awareness. SO GOOD.
How often do you talk to yourself? Like reaaaaally talk? What’s your inner dialogue? How well do you know yourself? It’s all part of caring for you!
There’s sometimes fear around getting to know ourselves because we’re afraid of what we might see. Shining awareness on the dark parts just makes them light. This is where my mentors have been so important. They help me see all of me from a higher perspective. Self-cultivation is especially important during transitions (like going to college, starting a new school year, trying something new, etc.) when you’re inherently getting to know a different version of yourself. Wanna have a chat with yourself? These are things that help me start the conversation:
✨take a walk
✨listen to music
✨spend time with mentors
✨turn off the phone
✨pay attention to the world around you
✨go be alone
Let me know how the convo goes!
** Also not talking to myself in this pic, but laughing at @leshon and having my photo taken by the talented Maja Bakija @maja_bee **
Today is a post dedicated to dispelling college myths. Whether you’re coming home from your freshmen year or gearing up to go, this is for you!
I love working with college freshmen. It’s such a transformative stage of life that can be both totally thrilling and wildly overwhelming. Here are a few topics that I’m always helping girls work through.
You’ll be Instantly happy and this is the BEST TIME of your LIFE.
True, college can be great. I LOVED college, but cut yourself a break. Especially for freshmen, you are in a new place, squeezed into a room with a stranger, facing new academic, social, and emotional challenges. It is okay to feel like you are having a time.
You’ll Meet your Best Friends First Semester Freshmen Year
Slow your roll. You don’t actually see who everyone truly is until second semester then the real personalities come out. I made one of my best friends my senior year so don’t write people off just because they didn’t live on your floor freshmen year.
All your High School Friends are Loving Their College Experience
Do not compare your real life to the social media life of your high school friends. I’ve said this time and time again: Everyone is Lying to you on Social Media (including me). You don’t have the full story. You don’t know everything that’s going on. People only show you what they want you to see. It’s such a small segment of what’s actually happening. There is a huge chance that they probably feel the exact same amount of overwhelmed you do.
College is a major life change. These are things I wish someone told me! I feel that I sought out mentors when I applied to internships and jobs for the first time. I could have really benefited from mentorship before even heading off to school. To talk through any of these topics or for more information please feel free to reach out!