being human in the in-between
In the last half of 2020, I started signing off my weekly newsletter with something I wished for everyone during the week. It became one of my favorite practices so I went back and collected the themes as they’re what I wish for you all in 2021:
comfort in liminal space
a deep sense of inner peace
and most of all lots of health.
I am rooting into these words more than ever. If January is already feeling long, here are some tips on navigating liminal space: the time between what was and what’s next.
A side effect of social media I’ve see consistently in my private practice is FOMO (fear of missing out). It always seems to amp up over holidays heavy in expectation like New Year’s Eve. It’s so easy to look at social media, see what people are up to, and compare it to what you’ve got going on. In today’s pep talk, I’m sharing what totally changed my perspective on Holiday FOMO. This is always one of my most popular pep talks because it is so universally felt!
Holiday Fomo is when you see other people celebrate any holiday and it makes you feel like you’re missing out or doing it wrong. Social media has taken it to the next level too. We check out of her own life, to check into someone else’s. and then we compare. I find that this spikes during the holidays especially like New Year’s Eve or like 4th of July which is the New Year’s Eve of the summer.
If you’re in a situation where you’re having some Holiday Fomo, here’s what I always remind myself:
Where you are is exactly where you’re meant to be.
You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re not in the wrong place. You’re not missing out. Wherever you are is where you’re meant to be. My yoga teacher Amy during our training had a different quote posted every time we met. One quote I always still think about is by Hafiz which said:
This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.
Whenever I’m in a FOMO space I think about that quote. It takes away any of the pressure that I’m doing the wrong thing or that my plans are not good enough. This also opens the opportunity to think about how to make the best of whatever situation you’re in. What are the positives? If you’re feeling holiday FOMO creep in, remember that wherever you are is exactly where you’re meant to be and then jump off social media. People never show you the full picture of what’s going on anyway. You are where you’re meant to be.
The pandemic has turned college admissions upside down. Without SAT/ACT scores, extracurriculars, and with semesters of pass/fail grades, the traditional admissions rubric no longer works. This is a huge opportunity as more weight shifts to a student’s character making essays, interviews, and recommendations essential. In this episode, I share my #1 tip to stand out in college essays and cover letters. Knowing who you are, why you want to be a student at a specific school, and how to articulate it, is now crucial. This is a pandemic shift I am actually excited about!
::CREATING YOUR INNER CIRCLE::
Who are the people in your life that you tell the truth about yourself to?
This is your inner circle…
And it’s not an easy thing to put together. During covid, community is more important than ever. I know I’ve definitely felt isolated!
When I just graduated college, I used to go to Monday night Gabby Bernstein groups where I met a lot of people with like minded interests, but how do we do that in times of quarantine? Megan McDowell of Heartworks shares with me how to build this inner circle at 45 minutes in the podcast below.
Creating community starts with yourself. If you’re only projecting to people that you have your shit together all the time, life is going to be very lonely. This is also why mentorship has been so important to me. Mentors are in my inner circle that meet me and accept where I’m at.
Watch the video clip here:
full episode here:
College, Stress, and your Tipping Point. College stress can feel like a game of jenga: one false move and you’re crying in public. Full video here on how to handle stress while at college!
On becoming a different version of yourself:
(as I sit in the uncomfortable-ness of my own change!!)
This has been on my mind lately. Maybe it’s summer turning into fall, but I just feel a lot of change all around me.
It’s okay to evolve into a different version of yourself. It can be overwhelming to feel sort of unrecognizable to yourself, but it’s all part of growth. I know a lot of my college freshmen feel this way. Any experience that stretches you or helps you evaluate what you want and how to get there, can be uncomfortable. You’re just becoming a more truthful version of yourself. Be patient. Be gentle. Have a dance party. Cry. Call your mentors. Tell the people you love, that you love them. This too shall pass. 📸 by @maja_bee
Mind Body Medicine
Back-to-school can stir up lots of feelings and it’s basically been the focus of all my sessions since the beginning of August. A topic I’ve shared with my students is the mind body connection or how your thoughts and emotions can affect your physical condition. Not as a replacement for medical advice, but whenever I feel out of sorts in my body, I try to think of the emotional component in a literal way. Examples:
A friend said she had no appetite and I asked, “What’s eating you up?”
I had heartburn and my mom asked me, “What’s burning your heart?”
A student had a neck ache and I asked, “Is anyone in your life being a pain in the neck?”
My hip flexors were super tight and I asked myself, “Where am I being inflexible?”
Mindful questions can help you see yourself or situation from a perspective that maybe you didn’t consider before. Pay attention to how you feel physically. Butterflies in your stomach, tension headaches, tight neck and shoulders can all indicate built up feelings. Your body talks to you all day long, you just have to listen. ✨📸 by @maja_bee