how to say no, leave someone out, and set boundaries with kindness
a pep talk on being left out
extra credit pep talk podcasts:
The college workload can be something that you need to get used to and it is okay to feel like you need some guidance. Here are some ideas to help when school feels hard:
is the course material hard?
- go to office hours. This matters to professors! They appreciate when you show effort
- attend a study group… bonus you might make friends!
is it just a lot?
is it the way it’s being taught?
- try to learn the material from someone who maybe has a different way of explaining it like going to your teacher’s assistant or going to the tutoring center
are you being hard on yourself?
- take a look at the 9 different kinds of intelligence and remind yourself that there are so many different ways to be smart
- use the oracle below to see what the best way you can support yourself is right now
nine types of intelligence
When I was in one of Master’s classes, the teacher presented us with the nine different types of intelligence and it really opened my mind. I, personally, have a story I tell myself where I tell myself I’m not smart enough and this unlocked something for me. School sometimes only measures intelligence in certain ways, which is not the full picture. Take a look at the list below to see all the different ways to be smart. Any of them resonate? I bet so!
- Naturalist (nature smart)
- Musical (sound smart)
- Logical-mathematical (number/reasoning smart)
- Existential (life smart)
- Interpersonal (people smart)
- Bodily-kinesthetic (body smart)
- Linguistic (word smart)
- Intra-personal (self smart)
- Spatial (picture smart)
are you a people pleaser?
One of the ways I most like to get insight is through oracles. Whether they’re through tarot or affirmation cards, I find it really helpful to see where I’m at. Below is an oracle I created for you guys. Think of an intention or a question you’d like answered. Play the video below and randomly stop it when it feels right to you. Whatever number comes up is meant for you. Scroll down for the corresponding message.
Things are happening in the right way and are unfolding at the right time. You can’t mess up or miss out on what’s meant for you, but you can cut yourself a break.
Fate has its eyes on you. Let go and let things happen. Look around for synchronicities and signs you’re on the right track.
3. go for it
Have you been afraid of doing something? Saying something? This oracle is telling you to start it, say it, do it, be it!
4. ask for help
Sometimes it can be scary to ask for help or we’re afraid to be a burden, but people are more willing to help you out then you think. Go get mentored, make an appointment with your academic advisor, phone a friend. It’s okay to ask for help.
Get clear about what you want. Take some time today to journal about what it is you really want and what could be getting in your way. What is it you really desire? The world is your oyster!
6. soul connection
There’s a soul connection around you. Be open to finding someone you connect with in the most unexpected of places.
7. what sounds fun?
Stop, drop, and ask yourself, “What sounds fun?” What would make this moment better? Take a walk? Call a friend? Have a dance party? Add some levity to your life today!
You’ve just been granted permission to take care of yourself. What would be the best way to care for yourself right now?
9. cool it
Do nothing. Take a break. Go to bed early. Rest. Rest. Rest.
The world needs a little more YOU. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. When you shine, you give others permission to shine around you.
11. set an intention
Write down what you want on a piece of paper and say, “This or something better,” as you release it into the Universe.
"I see self-care as a timeless personal practice for carving out the space and solitude necessary for listening to your spirit." - Dr. Julie Von
This meditation centers around affirming all the wonderful things about yourself especially if you’re someone who can get stuck in your own thoughts! I suggest you do if for the whole month! See what can change for you in 30 days!
When I’m feeling stuck or overwhelmed, a journal exercise I do is write to the kindest, most loving part of myself. Ask a question, lay out an issue, say hi to yourself, then respond like your best friend would. See what comes up for you!