modern mentorship: getting you across campus (and beyond) one pep talk at a time
Everyone at some point has felt pressure to be cool. Whether it’s playing a certain sport, being in a certain group of friends, or going to a specific party, we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Check out today’s video for some relief when it comes to the stress of being cool.
https://youtu.be/SfnSFd8_Ew0
Originally published on Spire & Co
Last week, I wore my new zenned OUT tee when a stranger told me she loved the shirt, but she was the least zen person ever. “Please, I’m my own kind of zen,” I replied.
Zen doesn’t have to be enlightenment under a Bodhi Tree or serenity in every moment.
My zen looks like dance parties. It’s talking with friends, spending time with my family, and being of service. It’s traveling, eating, and trying new things. Sometimes my zen involves tears. It’s meditative and self-explorative. It’s being energetic and calm. My zen is when I have enough self-love to not judge all the different situations and emotions that come up in my life.
As we head into 2016, I wanted to share my most popular videos over the year. It’s like a big #MeToo or knowing that you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through. Check out what topics were important to girls in 2015!
How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDYKUu84Bc
A couple of weekends ago, I worked on an exciting project with my students (which I cannot wait to share with you soon). During it, I asked each girl what her favorite topic that we’ve covered during our Mentoring Sessions was. EVERY girl said the advice they got about sleeping better was really helpful, so I decided to share it here on the blog today!
Everything You Need to Know Before Going to Prom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhZt9yrVfp0
The whole prom process was stressful for me. Between asking someone to the dance (I went to an all girls high school), finding a dress that I actually felt good in, and praying that I was invited to an after-party, I didn’t really have that much fun because of all the pressure I put on myself. This is all the best Modern Mentor advice for a having authentic fun at prom!
How to Get a Boyfriend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1UdAhdcysk
When my student asked me to help her get a boyfriend I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. As a professional big sister I get relationship questions all the time. In a world of Snapchat, texts, and dating apps, finding someone that’s a good fit can be confusing. If you’ve ever wondered what you need to do to get a boyfriend this blog is for you!
How to Handle Other People’s Bad Attitudes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdIGPmgGUCY
It stinks when you’re excited about something and the people around you aren’t. Maybe you really like soccer practice but everyone else complains about the coach. Maybe you’re really excited about a class, but everyone is down on it. You can’t change other people, but you can help to make the situation better. Click the video to hear what to do when the people around you have a bad attitude.
How to Create Happy Body Habits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRsP2JR6Uig
Sometimes it’s hard to like the way you look. When we think or do negative things to our bodies, it can become a habit without us even knowing it. In today’s video, I’m giving step by step advice for creating happy body habits. You were given your body so that you could share your gifts, not get upset when it doesn’t look the way you want. Check out this video to learn how to make liking yourself a habit!
How to Actually Talk to Your Parents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1BpC5OS8OM
Going to your parents for advice can sometimes be hard, but I know from experience that if you open up to them they can actually be a big help. Plus, they really want to hear from you! Today, I’m sharing helpful tips for talking to your parents or anyone you’re thinking of going to for advice.
What to do when your Best Friend Moves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5gFadVyyU
My best friend moved from NYC to Los Angeles at the end of June. This became a total #MeToo Moment when in a Mentoring Session one of my students told me her best friend was moving too. While it can be sad you won’t see your BFF as often, there are a lot of things to look forward to when a friend moves.
What to do when Mom stops you from doing something fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnNqk6DF9zg
So the title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s one of the main questions I get. Sometimes our parents can feel like a roadblock to our fun, but what if there was another way to look at it? Check it out!!
What to do when you feel like you don’t have a Best Friend (and Everyone else does)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNEXC1BMbUc
Today’s topic is super important before heading back to school. My students and I have been chatting and one of the biggest worries is friendship. Sometimes we haven’t seen our school friends in awhile and wonder if we’re going to get back into the flow of things. Still the fear I hear about the most is not having a best friend when everyone else does. In today’s video, I’m giving advice about comparing our friendships to others and what to remember on your first day of school!
What Happens When you Put Away your Phone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFO-xlkRSag
A couple weeks ago, my student, Caroline, and I did a phone challenge. I read an article about someone who never looked at his phone when he was around other people so I wanted to try it. Let me tell you… it. was. hard. Check out today’s video where we chat about how it went and what we learned!
Everyday my students tell me how stressed out they are and I totally get it. We have so much going on that it can be hard to do everything. The amount of questions I get about finding balance are on an all time high, but what interests me is my student’s shift into anxiety and its relationship to worthiness, deserving, and feeling good enough. Stress and anxiety are all things that EVERYONE faces, but what helps? My secret:
Mentorship and meditation.
These two things together helped me realize that I’m enough as I am. I don’t need anything on the outside (likes on Insta, cool friends, a hot boyfriend) to feel like I’m worthy on the inside. Allowing myself to be mentored has opened me up to hearing the, “Me Too,” or knowing that everything I’m going through is normal and human. It’s helped me get to know myself. Girls come to me all the time feeling like they need to be fixed. You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your fears are normal.
The second secret is meditation. You can’t get to know yourself if you’re not able to sit with yourself. Meditation is recharging. It’s a way to find peace in chaos, but you need to work it in order for it to work for you. Girls feel like it’s hard to meditate, but that’s a myth. Want to build a meditation practice? Below is my meditation playlist on Spotify (which all my students ask me about). Some songs are upbeat for energy. Some are softer to calm you down. Pick a song and focus on your breath for the entirety. Everyday is different so sometimes it will be easy to sit; somedays it’ll be hard. Thoughts start to drift? Totally okay! Come back to focusing on your breath. Try to meditate once a day for 21 days. You’ll be surprised how much you crave your meditation time once it becomes part of your routine.
I’m obsessed with music and the other day as I meditated to my favorite song (PS while we’re at it… May I also suggest my Fall Meditation playlist! Get your sit on!) I realized it was giving me the best advice about being open. Being open can be scary. We can be nervous about what people think or failing, but it’s actually such an amazing thing. Check out the video for advice on ways we close ourselves off and how to open ourselves up!
https://youtu.be/k08FnDcnQt0
When my student asked me to help her get a boyfriend I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. As a professional big sister, I get relationship questions all the time. In a world of Snapchat, texts, and dating apps, finding someone that’s a good fit can be confusing. If you’ve ever wondered what you need to do to get a boyfriend this blog is for you!
https://youtu.be/d1UdAhdcysk
So the title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s one of the main questions I get. Sometimes our parents can feel like a roadblock to our fun, but what if there was another way to look at it? Check out the video below!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnNqk6DF9zg
In this video I share how to tell if the friends in your life are building you up or bringing you down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu0rO37hy5Q
Sleep hasn’t always come easily to me. For the longest time I struggled with falling and staying asleep… let alone waking up peaceful! This bedtime routine has totally changed my relationship to sleep. Click play to learn the secrets to a better bedtime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cjd7BFQBqM&feature=youtu.be
Do you O-U-B? This is one of the biggest parts of my practice. OUB stands for: Out it. Use it. Bless it. Click play to hear how I use OUB in my everyday life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qhSkCdWF4Y&feature=youtu.be