If your hope for your children is to be whole hearted, confident adults this is the pep talk for you. One of the biggest topics I chat with parents about is the transition from doer parenting to supporter parenting. In this episode we chat about the difference between doer and supporter parenting is, why in adolescence we need to shift to supporter, and I share examples of how I sometimes see this play out as a mentor.
I need to be “good” today because I was “bad” yesterday. Ever say that to yourself in terms of eating? In this pep talk, I chat about the impact of labeling things as good/bad, what restriction really ends up doing, and a mentor reframe for letting go of labels.
Sometimes I feel it’s easier for students to chat with me, a mentor, versus their parents because of how I receive their stories. The key to having someone open up to you is that they feel safe and unfortunately at times we inadvertently do the opposite to the people we love. In this pep talk, I chat what it means to not match people’s energy, how to get someone to open up to you, and what emotional safety can look like in connection.
You’ll see a lot of clean(er) brands in this guide because I try to limit chemicals that could be endocrine disruptors which affect health and mood. O&J is one of my favorite brands and the polishes are formulated without the seven most dangerous chemicals found in traditional nail polishes
Aside from being cleaner, I suggest my mentees get the mani kit and invite friends over to do nails. I know this sounds weird, but research suggests that getting to know someone while doing an activity, for example: taking a walk, baking cookies, or painting nails, makes it easier to open up! I think this is great for college freshmen too. You can ask someone to hang out with an activity in mind so it takes some of the pressure off of sitting in someone’s dorm room.
In my private practice, I use affirmation cards at the end of my mentor sessions to leave my girls on a positive note. This is a new deck I got recently and it’s a big hit. Each card has a meaningful phrase, reminder, word, or prompt. They are beautiful and easy to use. I highly suggest!
If I could only use one face mask for the rest of my life, this would be it. I buy it in bulk whenever they have a sale. Skin can make or break confidence so having a product that helps you glow is important. Tata Harper is also a clean beauty brand so I feel good about using it.
I LOVE my weighted blanket. I use it during my meditations and to sleep. It’s said that a weighted blanket helps with stress and anxiety as the pressure relaxes the nervous system. I really do feel like it helps me get deeper rest. The one linked is particularly beautiful, but there are cheaper options at Target too!
5. Ilia Mascara
Another clean brand and hands down the best mascara I’ve ever used. It makes your lashes so so long. I buy it over and over again.
Something I’ve seen in my private practice is that tweens/teens still want to “play” and having colorful pens make the mundane more fun like writing a to-do list in color or journaling out feelings in different colors to reflect mood.
If you’ve ever been to a Heartworks meeting, you know we always sign cards to those in need with different color markers because Founder Megan McDowell believes in the power of color bringing joy to others. I agree!
These are the notebooks I love. I have a different use for each color: one is a journal, one is for notes I take with my students, and one is for my ick lists. They would make a cute journal gift with the pens.
When my mentees come to me overwhelmed with homework, we do the top three. This is where you pick out the three things you have to get done in a day. Personally, I do this daily and I’m not the only one because Noted by Post-It Notes created a pack of them. They make it easy to write down your three most important tasks, but are also pretty.
I’m obviously biased here, but I think the Mentor Membership is a great gift. I created it to house all of my tips, tricks, and resources so students can have support whenever they need it. They get podcasts, meditations, self-care shares (a “What Maggie Loves” for self-care tips), and journal exercises. Learn more here.
Do you live in a safe house… like an emotionally safe one? This pep talk is all about creating an emotionally safe household and why it’s a big part of helping our kids regulate their nervous systems. It all starts with trust. In this episode we cover a Brene Brown approved definition of what trust is and why it’s important in safety.
“Why didn’t they tell me that before?” If that question has crossed your mind, this is a pep talk for you. Inspired by (and shared with permission) a student who had a friend lie by omission, I explain why people lie especially by withholding, share a quote from psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy that really illuminates lying motivation, and give a suggestion around what you can do if you feel you’ve been lied to.
Parent coach, Mary Van Geffen joins us to explain the distinction between being in charge versus in control and why it’s so important when it comes to parenting teens. In this pep talk, we chat over-responsibility in parenting, redefining success, and what your teens really need from you. Mary even gives us an example of how this plays out in her own home so you can directly implement in your own life.
connect with Mary
Ever notice how past events can get pulled into the present? Sometimes it’s from undealt with feelings. In this episode, I share what the difference between “little t” trauma and “big T” trauma is, how the past shows up in the present, and where unfelt feelings pop up!
Ever have a big goal, but not sure where to start? Feel stuck in a particular area of life and don’t know how to move forward? I’ve got your back. In this pep talk, I’m sharing a tangible way to accomplish goals that’s not as hard as you think!
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