Ever notice how past events can get pulled into the present? Sometimes it’s from undealt with feelings. In this episode, I share what the difference between “little t” trauma and “big T” trauma is, how the past shows up in the present, and where unfelt feelings pop up!
Ever have a big goal, but not sure where to start? Feel stuck in a particular area of life and don’t know how to move forward? I’ve got your back. In this pep talk, I’m sharing a tangible way to accomplish goals that’s not as hard as you think!
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a quick way to shift your mood
Ever been grumpy or feeling blah and wish you could snap yourself right out of it? Well, today’s pep talk is a super easy way to shift your mood. We also go into my favorite Ted Lasso quotes: “believing in rom-communism is about believing that everything is going to work out in the end.” And with that, I hope you enjoy this episode!
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We are joined for today’s pep talk by international parenting coach Mary Van Geffen! After finding herself overwhelmed by her Titanium-Willed Child, Mary became a Simplicity Parenting Counselor® and Professional Co-Active Coach® to help overwhelmed moms with strong-willed or spicy children. Mary has been an epic follow on Instagram and her parent tip-a-day is always packed with so much value.
I asked her to be our guest to talk about parenting teens. We chat about the difference between being in charge versus control, how to foster an energy of cooperation that will help your teens hear you, what the real work of parenting is, a script you can use for setting tech boundaries with you kids, and an exercise to get you clear about the kind of family culture you want to create.
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everyone’s loving their college except me
It is nearly impossible to see other people on social media and not compare, but it takes on a whole new meaning for college freshmen. In this pep talk, we chat how social media has transformed the college adjustment period and the pressure around enjoying college especially at the beginning.
“Everyone has friends already.” “I don’t have anyone to hang with.” There’s an expectation that you get to campus and immediately click, connect, and have a group of friends. For most people that doesn’t happen! In this pep talk, we chat the real timeline of college friendships, stress around picking sophomore year roommates, and why your whole time at college is a great time to meet people (not just freshmen year).
when your expectations of college don’t meet the reality
“This isn’t what I thought it would be. I’m not sure I like college.” These are common freshman thoughts! We hear over and over again that college is the. best. time. ever. but for most, it doesn’t feel that way right off the bat. Belonging takes time! In this pep talk, we cover the expectations we have surrounding college, what the real reality of being at school is, and how to stay optimistic if you’re not loving it yet. Spoiler alert: you’re not alone!
Your college kid calls you upset saying they’re unhappy. You don’t know what to do and now you have a pit in your stomach. Parenting a college kid is a different ball game. In this pep talk, I share how to help your student when they say they don’t like school and the shift in parenting that occurs when your goal is to raise an independent, whole hearted young adult.
We know what it takes to create physical wellness for ourselves, but what about the mental? If you’re someone who runs anxious, stressed, or can find themselves blue, having a solid wellness foundation can be really helpful. In this pep talk, I share two things to do to create a foundation of mental wellness that can help you navigate the ups and downs of life.
Do you procrastinate? If you feel stressed around all you have to do or are someone who tends to put things off, I’ve got a mentor tip for you. It’s to create what I call an “ick list,” and it’s exactly what it sounds like.
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I created this technique when I had a lot of adulting to do that I kept putting off. The ick list is for the tasks that aren’t fun, pile up, and stress you out over time. I see this kind of stress show up for college students or anyone going back to school. You kind of just want to veg and enjoy the rest of your summer, but you also have a lot to do to get ready for the new school year.
Whenever there’s a transition involved, I always feel like it takes a little more energy to do your regular stuff. I believe this for two reasons: one because you burn extra energy in transition. For example, if you’re a freshman going into college you may feel like you’re using a lot of energy in the anticipation of what’s next. There is a lot of mental energy that goes into anything that involves planning or change.
Secondly, I think that sometimes procrastination can be a nervous system defense mechanism. It can be related to fear and it’s a pattern that we can shift.
This is where the “ick list” comes in. I get out of piece of paper and I write out, not type out, all the things I have to do that are bringing me stress and anything I’ve been procrastinating on. I basically write down all the tasks that are making me feel icky. After I’ve written everything out, I take a look at the list and I pick out the three things that are bringing me the most stress. When that’s complete you pick one of the three things and just get it done.
There’s a little bit of mentor self-discovery here too. For myself, I learned that what causes me stress is how long something has been on my list not how big the task is. The longer I put it off, the more stress it brings me.
Also, when you start something, you build momentum around it. Once you figure out what task you’re going to get done first it helps build flow for the others. There’s also alchemy in taking something out of your head and putting it on paper. It can kind of neutralize to some of the feelings around all the things you have to do floating in your head. And that is how the ick list works!