Modern Mentor Year in Review

As we head into 2016, I wanted to share my most popular videos over the year. It’s like a big #MeToo or knowing that you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through. Check out what topics were important to girls in 2015!

How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDYKUu84Bc

A couple of weekends ago, I worked on an exciting project with my students (which I cannot wait to share with you soon). During it, I asked each girl what her favorite topic that we’ve covered during our Mentoring Sessions was. EVERY girl said the advice they got about sleeping better was really helpful, so I decided to share it here on the blog today!

Everything You Need to Know Before Going to Prom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhZt9yrVfp0

The whole prom process was stressful for me. Between asking someone to the dance (I went to an all girls high school), finding a dress that I actually felt good in, and praying that I was invited to an after-party, I didn’t really have that much fun because of all the pressure I put on myself. This is all the best Modern Mentor advice for a having authentic fun at prom!

How to Get a Boyfriend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1UdAhdcysk

When my student asked me to help her get a boyfriend I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. As a professional big sister I get relationship questions all the time. In a world of Snapchat, texts, and dating apps, finding someone that’s a good fit can be confusing. If you’ve ever wondered what you need to do to get a boyfriend this blog is for you!

How to Handle Other People’s Bad Attitudes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdIGPmgGUCY

It stinks when you’re excited about something and the people around you aren’t. Maybe you really like soccer practice but everyone else complains about the coach. Maybe you’re really excited about a class, but everyone is down on it. You can’t change other people, but you can help to make the situation better. Click the video to hear what to do when the people around you have a bad attitude.

How to Create Happy Body Habits

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRsP2JR6Uig

Sometimes it’s hard to like the way you look. When we think or do negative things to our bodies, it can become a habit without us even knowing it. In today’s video, I’m giving step by step advice for creating happy body habits. You were given your body so that you could share your gifts, not get upset when it doesn’t look the way you want. Check out this video to learn how to make liking yourself a habit!

How to Actually Talk to Your Parents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1BpC5OS8OM

Going to your parents for advice can sometimes be hard, but I know from experience that if you open up to them they can actually be a big help. Plus, they really want to hear from you! Today, I’m sharing helpful tips for talking to your parents or anyone you’re thinking of going to for advice.

What to do when your Best Friend Moves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5gFadVyyU

My best friend moved from NYC to Los Angeles at the end of June. This became a total #MeToo Moment when in a Mentoring Session one of my students told me her best friend was moving too. While it can be sad you won’t see your BFF as often, there are a lot of things to look forward to when a friend moves.

What to do when Mom stops you from doing something fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnNqk6DF9zg

So the title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s one of the main questions I get. Sometimes our parents can feel like a roadblock to our fun, but what if there was another way to look at it? Check it out!!

What to do when you feel like you don’t have a Best Friend (and Everyone else does)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNEXC1BMbUc

Today’s topic is super important before heading back to school. My students and I have been chatting and one of the biggest worries is friendship. Sometimes we haven’t seen our school friends in awhile and wonder if we’re going to get back into the flow of things. Still the fear I hear about the most is not having a best friend when everyone else does. In today’s video, I’m giving advice about comparing our friendships to others and what to remember on your first day of school!

What Happens When you Put Away your Phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFO-xlkRSag

A couple weeks ago, my student, Caroline, and I did a phone challenge. I read an article about someone who never looked at his phone when he was around other people so I wanted to try it. Let me tell you… it. was. hard. Check out today’s video where we chat about how it went and what we learned!

What I Learned from Traveling Abroad with my Sister

My sister and I got back from a trip abroad on Sunday and I literally had the best time ever. With all the quality time, I learned two really big lessons that I feel EVERY GIRL has to know. I definitely struggle with these things and I’m happy I got the opportunity to work on it!

https://youtu.be/4FLlkeQ4AfY

What to do when you Find Yourself Jealous

The other day I found myself jealous as I scanned through a (stranger’s) instagram feed. The girl looked like she was having a super successful day while I was figuring out how to delete hacked code from my website… in my pajamas. Jealousy and envy are normal human emotions that aren’t talked about too often. Even in the mentoring groups I run as a professional big sister, we kind of breeze by it and instead talk about comparing. So what is jealousy really? For the rest of the article click here.

What happens when you put Away your Phone

https://youtu.be/kFO-xlkRSag

Authentic Posting and the Story you’re Creating

Today I’m sharing a video that I filmed at my Party Series lecture. At my Prep Programs a huge majority of our Q&A was spent on posting, texting, and communicating in general so I wanted to share a little clip about authentic posting and how we’re showing ourselves online (and if matches how we are in person). How do you know you’ve posted authentically? Let me know in the comments below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2nELHqWFEE

Do you Suffer from SMD (Social Media Drain)?

Today we’re talking about SMD. I suffer from it. A lot of my student suffer from it. It’s Social Media Drain. Symptoms include judging, comparing, feeling bored, losing track of time… any of these sound familiar? Don’t worry I got your back. Click to hear how to beat SMD.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmHkCSxmMsE

Is your Offline World Supporting your Online World?

If you’ve ever planned a photo way in advanced to post on Instagram then this is for you! In our Girls Group Coaching we’ve been talking a lot about why we share online and it got me thinking: do we spend more time taking pictures of us having fun than actually having fun? Do we spend more time building our online world rather than actually being present in our life away from the phones and computers? For answers check out the video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqSaKi1t57U

Do you Know how Powerful you are?

When I was a kid, there was a rhyme “stick and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” and even as I type this out I cannot believe how untrue this is. Our words make us incredibly powerful. We have the power to tell someone something that could make them feel terrible or we could say things that bring such joy and here’s the deal: we get to choose. Click play to find out how powerful you really are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFqBZRZoceQ&list=UUjXPX6E6gHgWuaFUiTDVo2w&index=1

What Social Media Isn’t Telling You

What you see on social media is only half the story. If you’ve ever felt left out after seeing a picture of your friends on Instagram or been upset after seeing the guy you like in a picture with someone else, you aren’t alone! In this video I discuss why we shouldn’t get upset over the things we see social media.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRAtfHPGHvg&feature=youtu.be

Why You Should Embrace Vulnerability

This piece originally appeared on Your Bella Life

…And not just because Brené Brown told you to!

Ever opened up to a friend about something difficult going on in your life? Been on an interview? Said, ‘I love you’ first in a relationship? Put yourself on the line for a new project or experience? If you’ve answered yes to at least one of the above then congratulations! You’ve been vulnerable! Brené Brown has been everywhere these days especially if you’ve turned on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or are one of the eight million viewers that watched her TEDx Talk.

Brown, a Ph.D., LMSW and professor at the University of Houston Graduate School of Social Work, has built her career studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame. Let me tell you, she’s the real deal. She understands that this vulnerability thing isn’t easy, but oh so worth it, even outing herself as someone who once had a hard time embracing it.

Putting yourself out there is scary! It’s uncomfortable to take emotional risk, but as someone who has made the commitment to embrace vulnerability I can attest that there are some great reasons to take the leap:

1. People like you when you’re just being yourself

When you’re authentic you encourage those around you to be more of themselves and people want to be around people who make them feel good. Plain and simple. Having confidence in who you are makes others feel relaxed. No one is striving to meet expectations or trying hard to impress anyone. An added bonus: there’s nothing more attractive or sexy than someone genuine. All anyone ever really wants from you is to be yourself.

2. You are whole no matter what you share with anyone

Putting yourself out there for an opportunity and not getting it. Saying, ‘I love you’ in a relationship and not hearing back. Reaching out to a friend and getting turned away. There are tons of reasons why vulnerability is scary, but even when you share with others you are still whole. Sometimes things don’t align and you don’t hear what you were hoping to, but it does NOT affect your overall worth. You are still whole. You still deserve love. There is nothing wrong with you, no matter how badly the rejection hurts. Everything you want is already inside of you and nothing can take that away.

3. People earn the right to hear your story

In Brené Brown’s Super Soul Sunday interview with Oprah she stated, “People earn the right to hear your story.” Between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. we have a million social media options to vent our feelings, but saying something behind your computer doesn’t allow you to fully be seen. You have the power to choose those you entrust with what’s going on in your life so choose carefully! Real intimacy is not shared behind a computer, so think twice before you hit send.

4. Being vulnerable helps you connect to something bigger

We associate being vulnerable with being weak and that’s really untrue. Opening your heart to others regardless of outcome takes strength. We are all striving to connect to others and when you allow yourself to be vulnerable you do exactly that. The love inside of you reaches the love inside of them even if you don’t get the desired outcome. Isn’t life so much sweeter when you share it with others anyway? You might even be happily surprised.

5. Wholehearted living exponentially helps you grow

Part of Brown’s bigger message is being a wholehearted person, or as she defines it, as someone who has a deep sense of deserving love, the courage to be imperfect and the ability to have compassion for themselves and others. Most of all they find connection as a result of being authentic meaning they aren’t scared of being themselves. When you live wholeheartedly you get so much more out of life. You are able to experience things differently always knowing that you deserve love no matter what. This helps you take leaps of faith and shapes every opportunity into one of growth and gratitude. Be thankful for all your messy experiences just as much as the beautiful ones because they make you who you are.

So let’s keep throwing this vulnerability word out there. Take the emotional risk to be yourself. Live a wholehearted life and see just what all the fuss around Brené Brown is about for yourself!