Here’s the deal about being a freshmen in college: everyone feels the exact same way you do. It’s draining to put yourself out there, meeting new people, being in a new environment… and here’s the kicker: everyone is just being the version of themselves that they want you to see (this includes you too) which is exhausting. What we really long for as human beings is connection… and therein lies the paradox. You’re all stumbling around looking for your tribe, when you’re not really being “yourself”. When people let you see their perfect imperfectness it opens that bond to the real part of people that we so desperately long for, especially in the throes of something unfamiliar. So you’re sitting in someone’s cramped dorm room, feeling like you’re having a hard time adjusting, hearing someone talk about something and you’re not listening because you’re texting your friends from home. The real problem is not that you’re bad at making new friends, it’s that no one is truly being authentic, but everyone is still looking to form connection. It’s hard to be yourself as you start the transformative journey of college because you’re changing.
Take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. Everyone feels left out. Everyone feels awkward. No one feels like they really belong after two weeks or even months of starting a new school. Choose your friends wisely. Take time to discern other people’s values. Hang around people who make you feel energized. Pay attention to when you feel drained. You don’t really get to see people for who they truly are until second semester. This is when the cracks of realness can’t help but begin to show.
So what do you do now that you’re in the middle of a major transition? Root into something greater than yourself. It’s scary to put yourself out there! Everyone is dying to be in their dorm room alone, escaping. During transitions we hold onto the familiar more than ever. We miss our families, our homes, even the ex-boyfriends we were looking forward to getting away from. Grounding in something bigger enables us to grow and move knowing that we’re supported.
You’re not bad at change. You’re not socially awkward. Transitions are tough. They push us to grow; to become better people. The secret to happiness in everything from friendships to romantic relationships to success in life during and after college is to be yourself. People like you when you’re being authentic and real. They like that you aren’t perfect. Take off your mask. Be warm. Be open. Be brave. Listen when people speak. Put down your phone. Ask someone to grab dinner with you. Ask a different person to go to the gym.
What I really encourage anyone starting anything new is to set up a daily practice of getting still and quiet. It will give you a chance (especially when there’s chaos around you) to listen to yourself; to develop a relationship to yourself. Being still and quiet will help you connect to that little voice inside of you. I call this your Inner GPS. It will help you pick the right friends, guide you to the right guy, help you figure out the right major to make you both happy and profitable. The next time you feel growing pains remember you’re not alone, everyone feels like you do, and remember to use your inner GPS. It’s there for a reason. All you have to do is get quiet enough to listen.
I don’t know about you, but for me, September always feels waaaay more like a fresh start than January 1st does. It’s something about the change in season that makes me want to take an inventory on what happened last year and what I’d like to accomplish in the upcoming year. That’s why I always write out my resolutions in September, which I have dubbed “School Year Resolutions” (I even liked it so much I named my September group coaching after it). In this video, I share my tips for creating your own set of intentions for the upcoming year. Cheers to making it your best yet!
PS! This Saturday, September 7th, I’m going to help you set some School Year Resolutions with a little yoga at Ivivva Athletica in Ridgewood. More details here!
When my friend Kelly at Run FYL asked me to make a yoga video for athletes I was so down! Yoga is such a great way to work parts of our bodies that we sometimes miss when we do other kinds of activities. Plus it’s a great way to connect back into yourself (a BIG bonus in my Modern Mentoring book)! In this video I share yoga poses that are amazing for runners or any other athletes. Tight hips and quads? I gotcha covered. This 5-minute yoga circuit is awesome for runners and is great for increasing flexibility and dynamic strength. Yoga is an important cross training exercise essential to developing the “whole” athlete. Check it out below!
I’m so happy to share my tips and tricks for how to meditate. Meditation has been proven to lower stress, help with anxiety, allow us to be more mindful in our everyday lives, but what I really love is that it helps us establish a deeper inner relationship. When our world is chaotic and we all have so much going on, getting quiet allows us to root back into ourself. Meditation has changed my life and I want to share it with you! Click play to learn my tips for meditating!
In my group coaching last week I asked the girls a question and today I’m turning the tables and asking you! Do you treat yourself like you would treat a best friend? Think about it for a second. How do you treat your best friend? What do you do when you get in a fight with your friend? Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends? In this video, I share my tips for how to be your own best friend.
What you see on social media is only half the story. If you’ve ever felt left out after seeing a picture of your friends on Instagram or been upset after seeing the guy you like in a picture with someone else, you aren’t alone! In this video I discuss why we shouldn’t get upset over the things we see social media.
I’ve been getting questions about body image lately and let me start by saying this: everyone encounters issues with how they look at one time or another. I struggled with it big time in high school especially as a dancer so I can confidently say that the tools I give you today are what I use to overcome feeling insecure about my body. Ever wonder why we even have body insecurities in the first place? In this video I share why we beat ourselves up over our looks and what we can do about it.
We’ve all heard the saying you are what you eat, but what does that really mean? In today’s video I discuss why we literally are the foods we put in our body and why we should choose the right foods to fuel us!
In this video I share what to remember when someone is getting on your nerves. Whether it’s your friends, parents, boyfriend or girlfriend, every relationship is a mirror. It’s a reflection of yourself. Examining how you get along with the people in your life helps is a great way to start self-exploration. At the end of the day the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.