Every labor day weekend I get the same call from parents of college freshmen and what they share inspired my favorite mantra for parents: support not solve! In this pep talk, we chat examples of how to implement the mantra, what I feel the role of a parent is, and how it relates to doer versus supporter parenting.
what I do on Sundays
Do Mondays make you anxious? Get a pit in your stomach about the week ahead? Sunday Scaries are a real thing!
Today I’m sharing what I do on Sundays to help make Mondays easier (while also including one thing that I absolutely do not do).
a pep talk on motivation
Feeling unmotivated lately? This has been a YES for my students so I wanted to talk about it here. Motivation is a super layered topic. In this episode we cover the reasons we can feel unmotivated, why your “why” matters, and practical steps to shift a motivation rut.
what to consider when making a big change
Thinking about making a big change in your life? Transferring schools? Leaving your job? Changing your relationship status? Those decisions can feel huge and usually start as a whisper almost as if what’s in your heart starts to float to your head. In this pep talk, I share what the main thing is to consider when you’re making a big move and the number one thing to keep in mind when you’re in fear of change.
mary van geffen: an exercise to clarify your family culture
What kind of mom or dad do you want to be? Parent Coach, Mary Van Geffen joins us to share her amazing Thanksgiving Exercise to help you get clear on the kind of family culture you want to create. We also chat about how the exercise uncovers the north star for family decisions, the importance of sharing the results with your teens, and the impact on parents personally as well.
connect with Mary:
Http://cyclical-parenting.teachable.com/p/the-compassionate-response-meditation-workshop
parent pep talk: the shift from doer parenting to supporter parenting
If your hope for your children is to be whole hearted, confident adults this is the pep talk for you. One of the biggest topics I chat with parents about is the transition from doer parenting to supporter parenting. In this episode we chat about the difference between doer and supporter parenting is, why in adolescence we need to shift to supporter, and I share examples of how I sometimes see this play out as a mentor.
food stress body stress
I need to be “good” today because I was “bad” yesterday. Ever say that to yourself in terms of eating? In this pep talk, I chat about the impact of labeling things as good/bad, what restriction really ends up doing, and a mentor reframe for letting go of labels.
don’t match the energy
Sometimes I feel it’s easier for students to chat with me, a mentor, versus their parents because of how I receive their stories. The key to having someone open up to you is that they feel safe and unfortunately at times we inadvertently do the opposite to the people we love. In this pep talk, I chat what it means to not match people’s energy, how to get someone to open up to you, and what emotional safety can look like in connection.
teen gift guide (curated by a mentor)
You’ll see a lot of clean(er) brands in this guide because I try to limit chemicals that could be endocrine disruptors which affect health and mood. O&J is one of my favorite brands and the polishes are formulated without the seven most dangerous chemicals found in traditional nail polishes
Aside from being cleaner, I suggest my mentees get the mani kit and invite friends over to do nails. I know this sounds weird, but research suggests that getting to know someone while doing an activity, for example: taking a walk, baking cookies, or painting nails, makes it easier to open up! I think this is great for college freshmen too. You can ask someone to hang out with an activity in mind so it takes some of the pressure off of sitting in someone’s dorm room.
In my private practice, I use affirmation cards at the end of my mentor sessions to leave my girls on a positive note. This is a new deck I got recently and it’s a big hit. Each card has a meaningful phrase, reminder, word, or prompt. They are beautiful and easy to use. I highly suggest!
3. Tata Harper Resurfacing Mask
If I could only use one face mask for the rest of my life, this would be it. I buy it in bulk whenever they have a sale. Skin can make or break confidence so having a product that helps you glow is important. Tata Harper is also a clean beauty brand so I feel good about using it.
I LOVE my weighted blanket. I use it during my meditations and to sleep. It’s said that a weighted blanket helps with stress and anxiety as the pressure relaxes the nervous system. I really do feel like it helps me get deeper rest. The one linked is particularly beautiful, but there are cheaper options at Target too!
5. Ilia Mascara
Another clean brand and hands down the best mascara I’ve ever used. It makes your lashes so so long. I buy it over and over again.
Something I’ve seen in my private practice is that tweens/teens still want to “play” and having colorful pens make the mundane more fun like writing a to-do list in color or journaling out feelings in different colors to reflect mood.
If you’ve ever been to a Heartworks meeting, you know we always sign cards to those in need with different color markers because Founder Megan McDowell believes in the power of color bringing joy to others. I agree!
These are the notebooks I love. I have a different use for each color: one is a journal, one is for notes I take with my students, and one is for my ick lists. They would make a cute journal gift with the pens.
When my mentees come to me overwhelmed with homework, we do the top three. This is where you pick out the three things you have to get done in a day. Personally, I do this daily and I’m not the only one because Noted by Post-It Notes created a pack of them. They make it easy to write down your three most important tasks, but are also pretty.
I’m obviously biased here, but I think the Mentor Membership is a great gift. I created it to house all of my tips, tricks, and resources so students can have support whenever they need it. They get podcasts, meditations, self-care shares (a “What Maggie Loves” for self-care tips), and journal exercises. Learn more here.
is your house safe?
Do you live in a safe house… like an emotionally safe one? This pep talk is all about creating an emotionally safe household and why it’s a big part of helping our kids regulate their nervous systems. It all starts with trust. In this episode we cover a Brene Brown approved definition of what trust is and why it’s important in safety.