the first myth of the college experience: “college is the best time ever”

when your expectations of college don’t meet the reality

“This isn’t what I thought it would be. I’m not sure I like college.” These are common freshman thoughts! We hear over and over again that college is the. best. time. ever. but for most, it doesn’t feel that way right off the bat. Belonging takes time! In this pep talk, we cover the expectations we have surrounding college, what the real reality of being at school is, and how to stay optimistic if you’re not loving it yet. Spoiler alert: you’re not alone! 

Any of this resonate and you want extra support? I got you: 1:1 mentoring, parent coaching, and our online membership for college freshmen . 

 

a pep talk on change

There’s obvious change that happens in life where you know it’s coming like starting or graduating college, but then there’s not-so-obvious big changes like letting go of an old thought pattern or deciding you want something and figuring out how to go after it. We pay a lot of attention to the big changes, but I’ve found that most change comes from the sum of many subtle shifts. Today’s pep talk is not about managing change, but more about when the change you want to see in your life isn’t really happening, if you feel stuck, or what to think about when you want something to change.

one way high school affects the rest of your life

what’s the story you’re telling yourself?

“I’m not good enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I can’t do that.” Have you ever said any of those to yourself? The stories we tell ourselves (about ourselves) are incredibly important and believe it or not for many people, a life long story you create about yourself can start during high school. In today’s pep talk, I share some common high school stories that pop up during the college process, how they affect your present, and how to change your story if you don’t love the one you’re telling yourself.

more mentoring: 

confidence versus competence

mentor links: 

https://maggiedipasquale.com/

1:1 sessions

pep talks on navigating the unknown

being human in the in-between

In the last half of 2020, I started signing off my weekly newsletter with something I wished for everyone during the week. It became one of my favorite practices so I went back and collected the themes as they’re what I wish for you all in 2021:⁣


big dreams ⁣
clarity ⁣
calm ⁣
gentle guidance ⁣
comfort in liminal space ⁣
a deep sense of inner peace ⁣
connection ⁣
fomo freeness ⁣
ease ⁣
softness ⁣

and most of all lots of health.

I am rooting into these words more than ever. If January is already feeling long, here are some tips on navigating liminal space: the time between what was and what’s next.

a pep talk for when you’re being hard on yourself

Two Tips for Managing Perfectionism

So many of my students are perfectionists and I really relate to this because I’m hard on myself too. If you put a lot of pressure on yourself this is the right episode for you:  

I was at a dance class once and we did an improv warm-up. The teacher was like, “move like you’re sad, move like it’s sunny, move like it’s windy, move like you’re happy.” She had all these different prompts and then I made a joke that we should move like you’re thinking about something weird you did in 2007. Everyone laughed because everyone related to bringing up something in your mind that you’ve done wrong before and replaying it in your head.

My mentor Megan McDowell always tells me that sometimes I don’t want to accept my humanness. All that means is that I have limitations and that as a human I fall short at times. It’s not even really that you’re falling short it just is that you are human. I did an interview with Megan here that’s on feeling big feelings and if you’re perfection-y I am SURE you’re working through some big feelings: 

If you’re someone who ruminates on things you’ve did wrong or something that you feel bad about, remember shortcomings are part of being human. Your limitations make you human; not something to continue to beat yourself up about.

When I’m being hard on myself, I find it really helpful to just identify my own humanness. I name the mistake as my humanness and in recognizing it for what it is, it sort of dissipates. I don’t hold the same standards for myself that I was the moment before I pointed out my humanness.

An exercise I do when I’m getting in a perfection-y rumination spiral is I have a chat with the 80 year old version of myself so it’s Grandma Maggie in my head. I have a conversation with this older wiser version of myself that has lived more life than I’ve lived right now and I kind of see what she has to say about it.  Whether it’s through journaling or meditation. She NEVER tells me to beat myself up more. She mostly just tells me to let it go. It’s always really helpful to have this loving conversation with the older wiser version of myself. You could even see it as maybe talking to your higher-self.

If you’re someone who identifies as a perfectionist I am holding space for you and I get it! Sending everyone so much love!