parent pep talk: how not to drown in what your kids throw at you

Your child comes home from middle/high school upset. Your kid calls you overwhelmed at college. If you’re a parent, there’s a good chance you’ve been in these situations at some point and it’s painful! You know it’s something your kids have to figure out on their own, but you also want to swoop in… then they seem to move on and you’re still in all the stress. In this pep talk, I’m sharing what it really means when we get stuck in our kids’ stuff, what you can do to help yourself and your kids, and what a regulation ritual looks like.


 

what happens when we don’t deal with feelings

Ever notice how past events can get pulled into the present? Sometimes it’s from undealt with feelings. In this episode, I share what the difference between “little t” trauma and “big T” trauma is, how the past shows up in the present, and where unfelt feelings pop up!


 

second myth of the college experience: you’ll meet all you friends freshmen year

“Everyone has friends already.” “I don’t have anyone to hang with.” There’s an expectation that you get to campus and immediately click, connect, and have a group of friends. For most people that doesn’t happen!  In this pep talk, we chat the real timeline of college friendships, stress around picking sophomore year roommates, and why your whole time at college is a great time to meet people (not just freshmen year).

mentor links: 

www.maggiedipasquale.com

1:1 mentoring

parent coaching

online membership for college freshmen

the first myth of the college experience: “college is the best time ever”

when your expectations of college don’t meet the reality

“This isn’t what I thought it would be. I’m not sure I like college.” These are common freshman thoughts! We hear over and over again that college is the. best. time. ever. but for most, it doesn’t feel that way right off the bat. Belonging takes time! In this pep talk, we cover the expectations we have surrounding college, what the real reality of being at school is, and how to stay optimistic if you’re not loving it yet. Spoiler alert: you’re not alone! 

Any of this resonate and you want extra support? I got you: 1:1 mentoring, parent coaching, and our online membership for college freshmen . 

 

2 ways to create foundational mental wellness

We know what it takes to create physical wellness for ourselves, but what about the mental? If you’re someone who runs anxious, stressed, or can find themselves blue, having a solid wellness foundation can be really helpful. In this pep talk, I share two things to do to create a foundation of mental wellness that can help you navigate the ups and downs of life.

a mentor tip for procrastination

Do you procrastinate? If you feel stressed around all you have to do or are someone who tends to put things off, I’ve got a mentor tip for you. It’s to create what I call an “ick list,” and it’s exactly what it sounds like.

listen to the pep talk here: 

I created this technique when I had a lot of adulting to do that I kept putting off. The ick list is for the tasks that aren’t fun, pile up, and stress you out over time. I see this kind of stress show up for college students or anyone going back to school. You kind of just want to veg and enjoy the rest of your summer, but you also have a lot to do to get ready for the new school year. 

Mentor Insight:

Whenever there’s a transition involved, I always feel like it takes a little more energy to do your regular stuff. I believe this for two reasons: one because you burn extra energy in transition. For example, if you’re a freshman going into college you may feel like you’re using a lot of energy in the anticipation of what’s next. There is a lot of mental energy that goes into anything that involves planning or change.

Secondly, I think that sometimes procrastination can be a nervous system defense mechanism. It can be related to fear and it’s a pattern that we can shift.

This is where the “ick list” comes in. I get out of piece of paper and I write out, not type out, all the things I have to do that are bringing me stress and anything I’ve been procrastinating on. I basically write down all the tasks that are making me feel icky. After I’ve written everything out, I take a look at the list and I pick out the three things that are bringing me the most stress. When that’s complete you pick one of the three things and just get it done.

There’s a little bit of mentor self-discovery here too. For myself, I learned that what causes me stress is how long something has been on my list not how big the task is. The longer I put it off, the more stress it brings me.

Also, when you start something, you build momentum around it. Once you figure out what task you’re going to get done first it helps build flow for the others.  There’s also alchemy in taking something out of your head and putting it on paper.  It can kind of neutralize to some of the feelings around all the things you have to do floating in your head.  And that is how the ick list works! 

how “should” stress ruins relaxing (and what to do about it)

Ever try to relax and then tell yourself all the things you should be doing instead? I should be studying. I should be doing my laundry. I should be out with friends. This definitely ruins relaxing and I’ve seen it spike during the pandemic when we don’t have clear boundaries between all of our activities. Today’s pep talk, I share a quick tip for get out of the “shoulds” when it comes to downtime.

more mentoring: 

stack stress support

productivity pep talk

blursday remedy

ritualizing your routine 

stack stress support

Stack stress is a term I’ve made up to describe what happens when you have a lot going on at once, put caring yourself allll the way at the bottom of your list, then one tiiiiny thing tips everything over. Sound familiar? I bet it does for many! If you’ve ever cried over feeling overwhelmed this is the episode for you. In today’s pep talk, I share 3 things you can do when you feel the pressure of stack stress.

mentioned links: 

an easy exercise for shifting stress

all the stress

favorite pep talks

ICYMI: my current favs

It’s Spring here in the Northeast and if you’re getting outside more and wanted to something to listen to I’m sharing my current fav pep talks!


 

 

 

 

if you want to be yourself with friends:

if you want to understand yourself more:

if you want to relax:

**bonus** I know I said 3, but hey, this is my space and I want to include a pep talk on dating!

if you’re wondering if they like you:

a pep talk for when you’re waiting on college decisions

Are you waiting to hear back from a college? Hoping to get off a waitlist? Is the unknown stressing you out? College decisions can come with a lot of feelings! Check out this bonus episode for a pep talk on a college acceptance anxiety!