To Freshmen Everywhere: How to get through the Transition

Here’s the deal about being a freshmen in college: everyone feels the exact same way you do. It’s draining to put yourself out there, meeting new people, being in a new environment… and here’s the kicker: everyone is just being the version of themselves that they want you to see (this includes you too) which is exhausting. What we really long for as human beings is connection… and therein lies the paradox. You’re all stumbling around looking for your tribe, when you’re not really being “yourself”. When people let you see their perfect imperfectness it opens that bond to the real part of people that we so desperately long for, especially in the throes of something unfamiliar. So you’re sitting in someone’s cramped dorm room, feeling like you’re having a hard time adjusting, hearing someone talk about something and you’re not listening because you’re texting your friends from home. The real problem is not that you’re bad at making new friends, it’s that no one is truly being authentic, but everyone is still looking to form connection. It’s hard to be yourself as you start the transformative journey of college because you’re changing.

Take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. Everyone feels left out. Everyone feels awkward. No one feels like they really belong after two weeks or even months of starting a new school. Choose your friends wisely. Take time to discern other people’s values. Hang around people who make you feel energized. Pay attention to when you feel drained. You don’t really get to see people for who they truly are until second semester. This is when the cracks of realness can’t help but begin to show.

So what do you do now that you’re in the middle of a major transition? Root into something greater than yourself. It’s scary to put yourself out there! Everyone is dying to be in their dorm room alone, escaping. During transitions we hold onto the familiar more than ever. We miss our families, our homes, even the ex-boyfriends we were looking forward to getting away from. Grounding in something bigger enables us to grow and move knowing that we’re supported.

You’re not bad at change. You’re not socially awkward. Transitions are tough. They push us to grow; to become better people. The secret to happiness in everything from friendships to romantic relationships to success in life during and after college is to be yourself. People like you when you’re being authentic and real. They like that you aren’t perfect. Take off your mask. Be warm. Be open. Be brave. Listen when people speak. Put down your phone. Ask someone to grab dinner with you. Ask a different person to go to the gym.

What I really encourage anyone starting anything new is to set up a daily practice of getting still and quiet. It will give you a chance (especially when there’s chaos around you) to listen to yourself; to develop a relationship to yourself. Being still and quiet will help you connect to that little voice inside of you. I call this your Inner GPS. It will help you pick the right friends, guide you to the right guy, help you figure out the right major to make you both happy and profitable. The next time you feel growing pains remember you’re not alone, everyone feels like you do, and remember to use your inner GPS. It’s there for a reason. All you have to do is get quiet enough to listen.

 

How to Meditate

I’m so happy to share my tips and tricks for how to meditate. Meditation has been proven to lower stress, help with anxiety, allow us to be more mindful in our everyday lives, but what I really love  is that it helps us establish a deeper inner relationship. When our world is chaotic and we all have so much going on, getting quiet allows us to root back into ourself. Meditation has changed my life and I want to share it with you! Click play to learn my tips for meditating!

 

http://youtu.be/a-KUi-UKHx4

Are You Your Own Best Friend?

In my group coaching last week I asked the girls a question and today I’m turning the tables and asking you! Do you treat yourself like you would treat a best friend? Think about it for a second. How do you treat your best friend? What do you do when you get in a fight with your friend? Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends? In this video, I share my tips for how to be your own best friend.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTbwi5OkK84

What Social Media Isn’t Telling You

What you see on social media is only half the story. If you’ve ever felt left out after seeing a picture of your friends on Instagram or been upset after seeing the guy you like in a picture with someone else, you aren’t alone! In this video I discuss why we shouldn’t get upset over the things we see social media.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRAtfHPGHvg&feature=youtu.be

 

What to do when Someone Annoys You

In this video I share what to remember when someone is getting on your nerves. Whether it’s your friends, parents, boyfriend or girlfriend, every relationship is a mirror. It’s a reflection of yourself. Examining how you get along with the people in your life helps is a great way to start self-exploration. At the end of the day the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ghQtkb-bvk&feature=youtu.be

Why You Should Embrace Vulnerability

This piece originally appeared on Your Bella Life 

…And not just because Brené Brown told you to!

Ever opened up to a friend about something difficult going on in your life? Been on an interview? Said, ‘I love you’ first in a relationship? Put yourself on the line for a new project or experience? If you’ve answered yes to at least one of the above then congratulations! You’ve been vulnerable! Brené Brown has been everywhere these days especially if you’ve turned on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or are one of the eight million viewers that watched her TEDx Talk.

Brown, a Ph.D., LMSW and professor at the University of Houston Graduate School of Social Work, has built her career studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame. Let me tell you, she’s the real deal. She understands that this vulnerability thing isn’t easy, but oh so worth it, even outing herself as someone who once had a hard time embracing it.

Putting yourself out there is scary! It’s uncomfortable to take emotional risk, but as someone who has made the commitment to embrace vulnerability I can attest that there are some great reasons to take the leap:

1. People like you when you’re just being yourself

When you’re authentic you encourage those around you to be more of themselves and people want to be around people who make them feel good. Plain and simple. Having confidence in who you are makes others feel relaxed. No one is striving to meet expectations or trying hard to impress anyone. An added bonus: there’s nothing more attractive or sexy than someone genuine. All anyone ever really wants from you is to be yourself.

2. You are whole no matter what you share with anyone

Putting yourself out there for an opportunity and not getting it. Saying, ‘I love you’ in a relationship and not hearing back. Reaching out to a friend and getting turned away. There are tons of reasons why vulnerability is scary, but even when you share with others you are still whole. Sometimes things don’t align and you don’t hear what you were hoping to, but it does NOT affect your overall worth. You are still whole. You still deserve love. There is nothing wrong with you, no matter how badly the rejection hurts. Everything you want is already inside of you and nothing can take that away.

3. People earn the right to hear your story

In Brené Brown’s Super Soul Sunday interview with Oprah she stated, “People earn the right to hear your story.” Between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. we have a million social media options to vent our feelings, but saying something behind your computer doesn’t allow you to fully be seen. You have the power to choose those you entrust with what’s going on in your life so choose carefully! Real intimacy is not shared behind a computer, so think twice before you hit send.

4. Being vulnerable helps you connect to something bigger

We associate being vulnerable with being weak and that’s really untrue. Opening your heart to others regardless of outcome takes strength. We are all striving to connect to others and when you allow yourself to be vulnerable you do exactly that. The love inside of you reaches the love inside of them even if you don’t get the desired outcome. Isn’t life so much sweeter when you share it with others anyway? You might even be happily surprised.

5. Wholehearted living exponentially helps you grow

Part of Brown’s bigger message is being a wholehearted person, or as she defines it, as someone who has a deep sense of deserving love, the courage to be imperfect and the ability to have compassion for themselves and others. Most of all they find connection as a result of being authentic meaning they aren’t scared of being themselves. When you live wholeheartedly you get so much more out of life. You are able to experience things differently always knowing that you deserve love no matter what. This helps you take leaps of faith and shapes every opportunity into one of growth and gratitude. Be thankful for all your messy experiences just as much as the beautiful ones because they make you who you are.

So let’s keep throwing this vulnerability word out there. Take the emotional risk to be yourself. Live a wholehearted life and see just what all the fuss around Brené Brown is about for yourself!

How to Make a Good First Impression

Have you ever been really nervous about meeting a new group of people? We all have! I remember panicking as I got out of the car for my high school orientation. I didn’t know anyone and was so anxious wondering if anyone would like me. If you’re going to camp for the summer, starting a new internship or heading to an orientation you’re going to be making tons of new friends. It can be overwhelming to meet new people, but don’t stress! In this video I share my top 4 tips for making a good first impression.

Click Play to Learn How to Make a Good First Impression

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykywwYrO6-o&feature=youtu.be

Paige of Paige Denim Shares her Advice!

Last week I was at Paige Denim for an event where the Owner and Creative Director, Paige Adams-Geller, was in attendance. She was incredibly gracious and as we were chatting I couldn’t help but ask her what advice she would give young women!

 

Click Play to Hear the Advice Paige Shared:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhHvMo_sxfc

 

As a Modern Mentor and girl with many mentors myself, I know the importance of having a positive role model in your life. Who do you go to for advice? What’s the best piece of advice you ever received? Share with us in the comments below!

 

3 Ways We Forget How Awesome We Are

I’m in the middle of my yoga teacher training and that means packed weekends full of classes! This Sunday we were talking about the ways in which we bury our awesomeness. When we look into how we’re telling ourselves we aren’t good enough we see that all we’re doing is clouding our greatness. In this video, I share the three main ways we forget how really great we are and here is the bonus… everyone does these things so you are never alone!

Click to learn the 3 ways forget how awesome we are:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSJKbdC6dno

 

What’s really cool about learning the ways we forget that we’re perfect just the way we are is that we get the great gift of remembering again. We’re supposed to forget! We’re human! When we see ourselves acting in one (or more) of these ways we can say, “Hey, wait. I know what this is. I’ve just forgotten that I’m awesome the way I am and all I’m doing is clouding my greatness.” Identifying the behavior helps you to heal it. In what ways have you been burying your awesomeness? Share with me in the comments below!

 

How to Find Out Who you are by Cleaning Out your Makeup Drawer

It’s finally starting to feel like spring where I’m from and for me that means cleaning out the old to make way for the new. As I moved from emptying my closet to cleaning out my beauty products I discovered I was having a hard time getting rid of the things I didn’t use. After struggling with what to keep and what to toss, I decided to explore why I was having such a problem!

Click play to learn what I found out about myself while I was spring cleaning.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLeTottOGjI

 

When we take the time to look at different aspects of our life whether it be our closets, our makeup or bigger things like the relationships in our life, we learn a lot about ourselves. I want you to take this week to clean out just one drawer and see what comes up. What are your things saying about you? Where can you embrace yourself more? What can you let go of? The discoveries are endless!