does dating stress you out? a pep talk on soulmates

how to overcome overthinking in dating 

Have you ever come home from hanging out with someone or going out on a date and immediately jumped right into your own head about everything?  

“Do they like me?” 

“Are they going to ask me out for a second date?” 

“What do they think of me?” 

“Am I going to ever hear from them again?” 

A big one for me used to be: “Did I say too much???” 

This is one of my favorite topics to mentor on because I’ve had such a profound shift by re-framing dating in the way I’m sharing today. 

There’s a Yiddish word, bashert that Tosha Silver talks about in her book Outrageous Openness, as “meant to be,” in terms of a romantic relationship. If you Google it you’re going to get the sense of bashert meaning “one’s predestined soulmate.” In my opinion, I feel like this is what Taylor Swift talks about in her song Invisible Strings. She writes: 

“And isn’t it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?”


So how does this relate to overthinking in dating? When I applied bashert and invisible strings to dating I became more confident and dating became more fun:

  1. you don’t have to worry about meeting the right person because there are invisible strings that tie you to the people that you’re meant to meet 
  2. if you’re meant to meet certain people and you have a predestined soulmate then you do not have to worry about being yourself. You can relax. Nothing can mess it up.

Side-note, I also think that we have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. Friend soulmates, client soulmates, romantic soulmates. You have invisible strings pulling you to the right people, at the right time.  

Take a second here to think about the invisible strings you have with the people that you love in your life. I think about how I met my best friend on the first day of dance team at college. She grew up in Oklahoma. I grew up in New Jersey. We met at college and it had to take a lot of things to line up for us to be at the same school, at the same time, born in the same year, in the same grade. I thank my invisible strings for that! 

I texted my friend Peri Zarrella who is an intuitive counselor about invisible strings too because I could not help myself! When she feels into people’s energy especially romantic energy or partnership energy she says, 

“I see bonds like a string like a Venn diagram. I always see three energies. Person A’s energy,  Person B’s energy, and then AB the shared connection. If it’s an unconditional love bond I see a thread connecting the two in love.” 

What’s really cool is that Peri can see these bonds before people even meet. That for me shows that there’s an invisible connection pulling two people together. If there’s already a pull there for you, can you relax into trusting in bashert? 

If you’re someone trying to call in a partner or want to be in a relationship you can take some time to meditate upon the invisible strings. Imagine you’re pulling in the right person like a magnet. You can pull in your invisible strings. 

If you’re someone who goes into straight overthinking mode especially in dating remember those who are meant to meet will meet and there’s an invisible string that ties to the right people, in the right way, at the right time. There’s nothing you need to but be yourself. 

The Advice I got From Taylor Swift

Today I’m sharing what I learned from Taylor Swift about #squadgoals with my best friend, McKenzie. When there’s a lot going on during the holiday season we can get caught up in what everyone else is doing. McKenzie is one of my biggest supports and today we’re chatting about it!

A Week in the Life of a Modern Mentor

The Lilypad-3

A note about Halloween: 

This Halloween so many girls reached out to me panicking. There was stress over what costumes to wear, which group of friends to dress up with, which group of friends to go trick-or-treating with and the disappointment when things didn’t work out the way they wanted. November 1st, I heard all about the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) from all the pictures they’ve been seeing online of everyone else’s Halloween. 

All the stress over the holiday definitely took away from the fun. We forget that people are only showing us what they want us to see, not the whole story. Also, this is an amazing #MeToo moment. So many girls reached out to me and need to hear that they’re not alone.

In today’s blog, I’m sharing a week in life of a Modern Mentor and in order to give you a more whole version of the story, I’ve also included insight on what’s not shown. I hope you enjoy!

Thursday: 

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I spent all day getting ready for Friday’s #HangIn. I packed up everything the night before (something I recommend to my students too)! These are all the water bottles that I wrapped in my stickers while watching Scandal.

Not pictured: Putting stickers on water bottles took a long time! Also, this picture can’t show you how nervous/excited I was for the event. I get afraid I’m going to forget something and I always get butterflies before a new group.

Friday: 

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The HangIn! I had the best time on Friday. The first part of the class was yoga to center my students then we went into a super fun talk about social media/texting/everything before finishing up with a really awesome Q&A.  All the girls took a polaroid before class that they were able to take home after. Props included for the pics!

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While the girls were in the yoga class, I hung up all the pictures. I even wrote little messages on the clothes pins too!

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The girls were amazing during our chat!

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My friend Cat (on the right) taught the yoga class!

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Not pictured: The torrential rain that happened RIGHT before the HangIn started. It stressed me out, soaked the bottom of my jeans, and made me feel rushed when I finally did get to the studio. Also I was super nervous. I always want to make sure everyone finds the space and has a great time! It’s sometimes hard being a mentor and putting yourself out there!

Saturday:

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Saturday night I met up with college friends who were in town. It was super fun to catch up. I miss them.

Not pictured: All the work I did before hanging out with my friends. I had groups, privates, and emails to get back on. By the time we got back from dinner, I wanted to fall asleep! #GroupNap

Sunday:

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My sister, cousin, and I went for a hike near the George Washington Bridge. The views were amazing and it was perfect day for a hike.

Not pictured: We originally went to a trail that was closed because of bears! Eek! Also we had lots and lots of girl talk.

 

Monday:

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I got sent a picture of my Modern Mentor card hung up in a dorm room. It made me so happy to know that my work is growing and making an impact on girls.

Not pictured: All the hard work it took (and still takes) to be a resource for girls!

Tuesday:

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On Tuesdays I have dance. We had rehearsal at a different studio this particular class and we were so squished.

Not pictured: All the rushing I did to make it to rehearsal on time.

Wednesday:

Nothing. I didn’t take any pictures. I was mentoring and packing for my trip to Dallas the next day.

Thursday:

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I got to Dallas and became very familiar with the Sprinkles Cupcake ATM.

Not pictured: How excited my best friend and I were to see Taylor Swift. We must have listened to the 1989 album a million times. Also not pictured, how I cried through the airport when I left Dallas. Best friends are the best!

 

 

Friday vibes #fbf #taylorswift @swewillrocku

A video posted by Maggie DiPasquale (@maggiedipasquale) on