modern mentorship: getting you across campus (and beyond) one pep talk at a time
Asking for what I want is scary for me. I’m afraid of imposing on someone. I’m afraid of getting rejected, but at the end of the day, if I don’t ask the answer is always no.
Check out the video for more!
https://youtu.be/d9BJqxtpdSw
Originally published on Spire & Co
Last week, I wore my new zenned OUT tee when a stranger told me she loved the shirt, but she was the least zen person ever. “Please, I’m my own kind of zen,” I replied.
Zen doesn’t have to be enlightenment under a Bodhi Tree or serenity in every moment.
My zen looks like dance parties. It’s talking with friends, spending time with my family, and being of service. It’s traveling, eating, and trying new things. Sometimes my zen involves tears. It’s meditative and self-explorative. It’s being energetic and calm. My zen is when I have enough self-love to not judge all the different situations and emotions that come up in my life.
As we head into 2016, I wanted to share my most popular videos over the year. It’s like a big #MeToo or knowing that you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through. Check out what topics were important to girls in 2015!
How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDYKUu84Bc
A couple of weekends ago, I worked on an exciting project with my students (which I cannot wait to share with you soon). During it, I asked each girl what her favorite topic that we’ve covered during our Mentoring Sessions was. EVERY girl said the advice they got about sleeping better was really helpful, so I decided to share it here on the blog today!
Everything You Need to Know Before Going to Prom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhZt9yrVfp0
The whole prom process was stressful for me. Between asking someone to the dance (I went to an all girls high school), finding a dress that I actually felt good in, and praying that I was invited to an after-party, I didn’t really have that much fun because of all the pressure I put on myself. This is all the best Modern Mentor advice for a having authentic fun at prom!
How to Get a Boyfriend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1UdAhdcysk
When my student asked me to help her get a boyfriend I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. As a professional big sister I get relationship questions all the time. In a world of Snapchat, texts, and dating apps, finding someone that’s a good fit can be confusing. If you’ve ever wondered what you need to do to get a boyfriend this blog is for you!
How to Handle Other People’s Bad Attitudes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdIGPmgGUCY
It stinks when you’re excited about something and the people around you aren’t. Maybe you really like soccer practice but everyone else complains about the coach. Maybe you’re really excited about a class, but everyone is down on it. You can’t change other people, but you can help to make the situation better. Click the video to hear what to do when the people around you have a bad attitude.
How to Create Happy Body Habits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRsP2JR6Uig
Sometimes it’s hard to like the way you look. When we think or do negative things to our bodies, it can become a habit without us even knowing it. In today’s video, I’m giving step by step advice for creating happy body habits. You were given your body so that you could share your gifts, not get upset when it doesn’t look the way you want. Check out this video to learn how to make liking yourself a habit!
How to Actually Talk to Your Parents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1BpC5OS8OM
Going to your parents for advice can sometimes be hard, but I know from experience that if you open up to them they can actually be a big help. Plus, they really want to hear from you! Today, I’m sharing helpful tips for talking to your parents or anyone you’re thinking of going to for advice.
What to do when your Best Friend Moves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5gFadVyyU
My best friend moved from NYC to Los Angeles at the end of June. This became a total #MeToo Moment when in a Mentoring Session one of my students told me her best friend was moving too. While it can be sad you won’t see your BFF as often, there are a lot of things to look forward to when a friend moves.
What to do when Mom stops you from doing something fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnNqk6DF9zg
So the title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s one of the main questions I get. Sometimes our parents can feel like a roadblock to our fun, but what if there was another way to look at it? Check it out!!
What to do when you feel like you don’t have a Best Friend (and Everyone else does)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNEXC1BMbUc
Today’s topic is super important before heading back to school. My students and I have been chatting and one of the biggest worries is friendship. Sometimes we haven’t seen our school friends in awhile and wonder if we’re going to get back into the flow of things. Still the fear I hear about the most is not having a best friend when everyone else does. In today’s video, I’m giving advice about comparing our friendships to others and what to remember on your first day of school!
What Happens When you Put Away your Phone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFO-xlkRSag
A couple weeks ago, my student, Caroline, and I did a phone challenge. I read an article about someone who never looked at his phone when he was around other people so I wanted to try it. Let me tell you… it. was. hard. Check out today’s video where we chat about how it went and what we learned!
Over the summer, I followed a fitness blogger on Instagram and I constantly compared myself to her. Every time I looked at her posts, I felt like I wasn’t enough. It was nothing she was doing. She has no idea who I am. It was the internal dialogue I had with myself when I looked at her content. I decided to unfollow her in order to choose inspiration that builds me up.
I don’t know one girl who isn’t constantly comparing herself to people online. In a world where there’s a lot of information, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and social media drain, we need to be mindful of what we’re looking at online. The relationship we build with ourselves starts with the inner dialogue we’re having. This means intentionally following people that make us feel good and not bad. Today I’m sharing my top 5 Instagram accounts that bring me positivity and make me smile!
These adorable doodles come with such great messages. Whenever I catch one, I take it as what I needed for the day!
Gabby is my long time mentor. I love her! Her Insta is so inspiring. I love knowing what she’s up to, her tips on life and meditation as well as motivational quotes.
Pumpkin is a rescued raccoon who lives with a family (and dogs) in the Bahamas. She’s so cute and always doing goofy things.
My friend Trella runs a yoga nonprofit called Yogi’s Heart, which brings yoga scholarships to individuals 15-25 years old who want to practice regularly. Her Instagram feed is as beautiful as she is inside and out!
I love to travel and this Insta is like taking a mini vacation. Plus I love learning about new places! #travelgoals
The other day I found myself jealous as I scanned through a (stranger’s) instagram feed. The girl looked like she was having a super successful day while I was figuring out how to delete hacked code from my website… in my pajamas. Jealousy and envy are normal human emotions that aren’t talked about too often. Even in the mentoring groups I run as a professional big sister, we kind of breeze by it and instead talk about comparing. So what is jealousy really? For the rest of the article click here.
I’m obsessed with music and the other day as I meditated to my favorite song (PS while we’re at it… May I also suggest my Fall Meditation playlist! Get your sit on!) I realized it was giving me the best advice about being open. Being open can be scary. We can be nervous about what people think or failing, but it’s actually such an amazing thing. Check out the video for advice on ways we close ourselves off and how to open ourselves up!
https://youtu.be/k08FnDcnQt0
A couple weeks ago, my student, Caroline, and I did a phone challenge. I read an article about someone who never looked at his phone when he was around other people so I wanted to try it. Let me tell you… it. was. hard. Check out today’s video where we chat about how it went and what we learned!
https://youtu.be/kFO-xlkRSag
Not everyone is going to like you or the things you do. This is a tough lesson, especially for me! When someone has a negative opinion it can hurt. I’ve definitely spent my fair share of time being upset over it. Criticism is unavoidable, but it can be a great way to get to know yourself better. Check out the video to hear my personal story of how I handled criticism and what you can do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLv3sQ1qGnM
The whole prom process was stressful for me. Between asking someone to the dance (I went to an all girls high school), finding a dress that I actually felt good in, and praying that I was invited to an after-party, I didn’t really have that much fun because of all the pressure I put on myself. Today’s video is all the best Modern Mentor advice for having authentic fun at prom!
https://youtu.be/vhZt9yrVfp0
I don’t know one person who hasn’t at one point or another been hard on themselves about their weight. A few weeks ago girls asked me about this in mentoring and the next night my friends brought it up at dinner. It’s a universal “Me too,” experience. We humans have attached a lot of meaning to what we see on the scale, which is a waste of energy. Your weight is not an accurate measurement of who you are as a person. Real happiness comes from the inside out; not what you see on a scale. Check out the video for some body love advice:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA_0Lqlml0Q