How to Break Up (and be Broken Up with) Gracefully

This piece originally appeared on Your Bella Life 

Whether you’re doing the breaking up or being broken up with the situation is never pleasant! Ending a relationship in which two people have invested time, energy, and love is difficult. There’s no guidebook to breaking up, but as someone who has handled the end of relationships in both mature and not so charming ways, I’d like to share what I’ve learned along the way.

1. Come from an extremely loving place

If you’re breaking up then there was obviously a time when you felt the butterflies and love for the person you were together with. No matter how serious the relationship or if it lasted years or months, come from a space of deep love. This means hearing the other person out and understanding that they’re hurting and uncomfortable too. I know it’s cheesy, but it’s so true, treat others like you would want to be treated.  Would you like to be texted that a relationship is over? No. So don’t do that to someone else.

 2. Be compassionate

Directly related to the “Golden Rule” is compassion. No matter what side of a break up you’re on, be kind. I know this can be hard especially if you’re mad and hurt, but you’re never going to regret being compassionate even if you’re taken off guard. The other person is scared and sad just like you. Being nice can be hard, I know! Keep in mind that the person is doing the very best they can in that moment.

Being compassionate also means having compassion for yourself. You don’t need to be fixed. There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t  blame  the failure of the relationship on either party. Endings occur because you’ve learned the lessons you were meant to and it’s time to move on and grow through different experiences. That’s all. It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. You totally deserve love! What you’ve learned in this relationship was what was best for your own personal growth and so is the break up.

3. Be honest, but not dramatic

Pleading, screaming, stomping, facebooking, tweeting, instagraming your feelings are actions that could potentially live forever on the internet and definitely in the mind of your ex. It’s hard to communicate feelings! Why do you think so many people avoid it? Be honest with how you’re feeling without being dramatic. Your point is always better made when you’re centered and calm.

Sometimes a break up is surprising. Sometimes it’s in public (I was once broken up with in a Starbucks). Sometimes it’s in the home you share. All these scenarios can you leave you feeling confused over what to say. Once you’ve gathered up your thoughts and have had a conversation around the break up that’s that. Calling up later with follow up questions will only leave you wanting more. You’re never going to feel like you said everything perfectly. Trust everything that was meant to be said, was said. You’re also doing your absolute best in that given moment!

4. When it’s done let it be done

Sometimes not ending up together is the happily ever after part of the relationship. It’s unfair to yourself as well as your partner to keep texting or calling after the break up. Moving on is best done when you take space to get to know yourself again. Date yourself for a while! If you’re meant to be together in the future then you will be guided together without any forcing on your part. Take the time as an opportunity for self-growth.

5. Don’t deprive yourself of the grieving process

It’s totally okay and normal to be sad! You can still have a strong sense of inner worth as you cry over an ex-boyfriend. Let yourself feel the emotions that are coming up. It’s the only way to really release them. As Robert Frost said, “The best way out is always through.” Cry. Talk to your friends. Write in a journal. Take up a new hobby. The grieving process is an important part of letting go.  When you shift your mindset to see a break up as a new beginning disguised as an ending it becomes a lot easier to embrace what lies ahead instead of clinging on to the past.

All break ups are unique hitting different levels on the emotional scale. You’re never going to regret being loving and compassionate even when a relationship ends. Having an open heart makes you a better person. Spend some time going inward. Remember that those who are to meet will meet and that when you’re ready, your next relationship will flow effortlessly into your life at the right time.

Mmm Banana Pancakes!

It’s no secret that I LOVE to take my favorite foods and make them healthier so when I was craving banana pancakes I knew I had to make them with a spin. Pancakes with sugar and white flour can leave me feeling tired so I found a recipe that satisfied my craving while also giving me energy. I’m really into Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook It’s All Good  so her buckwheat banana pancakes were on the top of my list to try.


I substituted wheat flour for almond flour and rice milk for almond milk because that’s what I had around.


Bananas are the best! They’re a good source of potassium, vitamin C, vitamin B-6 and fiber. Plus they’re delicious.


My lack of flipping skills made for some not so pretty pancakes…


But they were absolutely yummy!

What’s your favorite breakfast food? Leave me comments in the section below! Have a great week! xoxo


Paige of Paige Denim Shares her Advice!

Last week I was at Paige Denim for an event where the Owner and Creative Director, Paige Adams-Geller, was in attendance. She was incredibly gracious and as we were chatting I couldn’t help but ask her what advice she would give young women!


Click Play to Hear the Advice Paige Shared:


As a Modern Mentor and girl with many mentors myself, I know the importance of having a positive role model in your life. Who do you go to for advice? What’s the best piece of advice you ever received? Share with us in the comments below!


3 Ways We Forget How Awesome We Are

I’m in the middle of my yoga teacher training and that means packed weekends full of classes! This Sunday we were talking about the ways in which we bury our awesomeness. When we look into how we’re telling ourselves we aren’t good enough we see that all we’re doing is clouding our greatness. In this video, I share the three main ways we forget how really great we are and here is the bonus… everyone does these things so you are never alone!

Click to learn the 3 ways forget how awesome we are:


What’s really cool about learning the ways we forget that we’re perfect just the way we are is that we get the great gift of remembering again. We’re supposed to forget! We’re human! When we see ourselves acting in one (or more) of these ways we can say, “Hey, wait. I know what this is. I’ve just forgotten that I’m awesome the way I am and all I’m doing is clouding my greatness.” Identifying the behavior helps you to heal it. In what ways have you been burying your awesomeness? Share with me in the comments below!


My Biggest Secret to Staying Healthy

Shhh. Today I’m sharing my biggest secret to staying healthy and it’s really so easy you’re going to wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. Everyone wants to look good for summer, but healthy habits are for life. This is especially important if you’re heading off to college soon (anyone want to avoid the freshmen 15?)!

Click play to learn how to stay healthy while eating all the foods you love:


Portion control isn’t about measuring out your food, restricting your intake or depriving yourself of the things you love. It’s being aware of how much you’re eating. Food is neither good nor bad. Food is fuel for your body and you NEED it! Everyday is going to be different. Somedays you’re going to need more fuel than others. Pay attention to when you’re hungry or full.

The biggest relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself and that includes exploring your relationship to food. Get to know how much you’re eating. It’s all a lesson in self-discovery. Let go of the stress you have around food and start having fun getting to know yourself!

How to Find Out Who you are by Cleaning Out your Makeup Drawer

It’s finally starting to feel like spring where I’m from and for me that means cleaning out the old to make way for the new. As I moved from emptying my closet to cleaning out my beauty products I discovered I was having a hard time getting rid of the things I didn’t use. After struggling with what to keep and what to toss, I decided to explore why I was having such a problem!

Click play to learn what I found out about myself while I was spring cleaning.


When we take the time to look at different aspects of our life whether it be our closets, our makeup or bigger things like the relationships in our life, we learn a lot about ourselves. I want you to take this week to clean out just one drawer and see what comes up. What are your things saying about you? Where can you embrace yourself more? What can you let go of? The discoveries are endless!

What to do When you Feel Really Sad

Over the past couple months it seems like the world has been hit with one tragedy after another. These situations leave us feeling heavy, scared, vulnerable, but most of all helpless. When we feel like there’s nothing we can do we get disconnected. In today’s video I share how to reconnect when you feel really upset.

 Click play to find out what to do when you feel helpless:


How do you reconnect when you’re feeling really sad? Leave comments below sharing how you’ve helped someone else this week!


How to Handle Rejection

April is a big month in terms of acceptances! Students are hearing back from colleges, getting asked out to prom and applying to summer programs. When we put ourselves out there for an opportunity we risk getting rejected, but I’m here to tell you that even though it sucks in the moment rejection is actually kind of awesome.

Click Play to Learn Why Rejection is Really Awesome


It’s hard not to take rejection to heart, but I promise you it’s only a good thing. The opportunity that’s meant for you is far better than you could have imagined!

My Weekend in Photos March Edition

How was everyone’s weekend? Mine was full of family, fun and food. Check out a few of my pictures below.


Woke up to this little guy


Ate delicious Easter candy


California cousins visited the East Coast


Spun around NYC


Saw a friend perform in the Newsies


Took pictures with the star backstage!


Pretty flowers


The first course of Easter dinner

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

Have your Cake and Eat it Too!

It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Easter or not, if you walk into any store there’s tons of candy all around tempting us into a sugar high! I’m all about healthy living and that means not depriving yourself of the things you love. Part of having your cake and eating it too is to make substitutions when you can so you enjoy a healthier treat. Candy is still candy, but when you make it yourself you know the ingredients that are going into it and can use portion control. Plus I love being in the kitchen! Dark chocolate peanut butter cups are one of my favorite candies so I decided to recreate my own. I used this recipe from the Sprouted Kitchen and substituted almond butter for peanut butter because that’s what I was craving.



 Gooey melted chocolate!


This can get messy… Don’t wear white!
Make sure to press down the peanut butter mixture so that the chocolate on top dries flat.
Enjoy your sweet treat!