modern mentorship: getting you across campus (and beyond) one pep talk at a time
Your college kid calls you upset saying they’re unhappy. You don’t know what to do and now you have a pit in your stomach. Parenting a college kid is a different ball game. In this pep talk, I share how to help your student when they say they don’t like school and the shift in parenting that occurs when your goal is to raise an independent, whole hearted young adult.
more mentoring:
We know what it takes to create physical wellness for ourselves, but what about the mental? If you’re someone who runs anxious, stressed, or can find themselves blue, having a solid wellness foundation can be really helpful. In this pep talk, I share two things to do to create a foundation of mental wellness that can help you navigate the ups and downs of life.
Do you procrastinate? If you feel stressed around all you have to do or are someone who tends to put things off, I’ve got a mentor tip for you. It’s to create what I call an “ick list,” and it’s exactly what it sounds like.
listen to the pep talk here:
I created this technique when I had a lot of adulting to do that I kept putting off. The ick list is for the tasks that aren’t fun, pile up, and stress you out over time. I see this kind of stress show up for college students or anyone going back to school. You kind of just want to veg and enjoy the rest of your summer, but you also have a lot to do to get ready for the new school year.
Mentor Insight:
Whenever there’s a transition involved, I always feel like it takes a little more energy to do your regular stuff. I believe this for two reasons: one because you burn extra energy in transition. For example, if you’re a freshman going into college you may feel like you’re using a lot of energy in the anticipation of what’s next. There is a lot of mental energy that goes into anything that involves planning or change.
Secondly, I think that sometimes procrastination can be a nervous system defense mechanism. It can be related to fear and it’s a pattern that we can shift.
This is where the “ick list” comes in. I get out of piece of paper and I write out, not type out, all the things I have to do that are bringing me stress and anything I’ve been procrastinating on. I basically write down all the tasks that are making me feel icky. After I’ve written everything out, I take a look at the list and I pick out the three things that are bringing me the most stress. When that’s complete you pick one of the three things and just get it done.
There’s a little bit of mentor self-discovery here too. For myself, I learned that what causes me stress is how long something has been on my list not how big the task is. The longer I put it off, the more stress it brings me.
Also, when you start something, you build momentum around it. Once you figure out what task you’re going to get done first it helps build flow for the others. There’s also alchemy in taking something out of your head and putting it on paper. It can kind of neutralize to some of the feelings around all the things you have to do floating in your head. And that is how the ick list works!
I sat outside in really great weather the other afternoon when the urge for an ice coffee hit me. As a coffee lover, this isn’t unfamiliar, but I also know that too much caffeine can up anxiety. Does this happen to you? It’s one of the first things I take out when I feel anxiety creep in.
I’m always trying to maintain foundational wellness so I can handle shifts in my life and a big part of that is what I put in my body. This is where my new summer drink comes in. One of my favorite things is to get something pre-made and take it next level in the easiest way possible. I share these “recipes” in my online membership too.
You can use any ice tea, but this is where the half tea & half lemon spindrift comes into play for me. Now black tea has a little bit of caffeine in it, but it’s a very small amount—a whole 12oz can contains less caffeine than 2oz of coffee.
What I do though is add lemon, mint, and the one I’m drinking right now has ginger. Now, these additions not only taste good, but they’re good for you too. According to herbalist Robin Rose Bennett these are the properties in the additions:
Mint: rich in antioxidants and great for digestion
Lemon: is immune protective, cooling, and antiseptic
Ginger: (not pictured) but: anti-inflammatory and anti-spasmodic
What I do is muddle the mint right in the glass to release the oils from the leaves. Add ice, stir, then squeeze in the lemon. Stir again and there you go. Highly recommend!
Re-entry side effects as we come back into the world after the pandemic are a real thing! Would you run 5 miles without any training and expect not to be sore? No! So why are we expecting ourselves not to be impacted after a global event? If you’re someone that’s been feeling low energy, overthinking after social interactions, and just feeling like it’s a little hard to leave your comfort zone, this is the post (ish) pandemic episode for you!
I wanted to record an end of the school year wrap up so today I’m sharing two themes that popped up in my private practice this year more than before. We chat tiktok mental health accounts and what to keep in mind when watching. I also share my thoughts about college students on dating apps.
College is a massive life change and in today’s episode I’m sharing one thing you can do before you ever get to campus to make the transition easier.
Transferring schools is a big decision and not something to take lightly! This pep talk shares what you need to know when you consider leaving the school you’re at, how making a change is never the end of the world, and why understanding where you’re coming from is a huge part of the process.
Feeling lonely is a completely human experience, but it can be so difficult! This topic has been floating through my private practice lately so I wanted to share with you here. Today we chat about the difference between being alone and lonely, what you’re really looking for when you’re lonely, and the ways we miss subtle bids for connection.
mentioned links:
ritualizing your routine: ideas for inner practices
mentor links:
There’s obvious change that happens in life where you know it’s coming like starting or graduating college, but then there’s not-so-obvious big changes like letting go of an old thought pattern or deciding you want something and figuring out how to go after it. We pay a lot of attention to the big changes, but I’ve found that most change comes from the sum of many subtle shifts. Today’s pep talk is not about managing change, but more about when the change you want to see in your life isn’t really happening, if you feel stuck, or what to think about when you want something to change.