fitting in for old souls

post grad, college, and high school mentorship for old souls in young bodies

Anyone ever called you an old soul? 

An old soul, for me, is someone who is really wise, deep, and self-reflective. They tend to be introspective, not only about themselves, but about the world. Typically they’re the people you turn to when you need advice. I find a lot of old souls can be very empathetic or pick up on the feelings of others. Let me tell you, my private practice is full of old soul empaths and I LOVE it! 

but, I’m just going to come out and say it, I think old souls sometimes have a harder time fitting in during their younger years.

When you’re deep and introspective about yourself, about the world, and about others, especially when you’re young, not everyone wants to meet you there. Whenever I’m chatting about fitting in with an old soul client this is what I say:

Who are you trying to fit in with? Are the people you’re looking to hang out with really your people? If you have to be inauthentic in order to fit in, is that really where you want to be? If you’re an old soul, it’s probably a no-go. I think some of the loneliest people out there are the people who give up parts of themselves in order to be a part of a group. 

Glennon Doyle in her book Untamed writes,

“Listen every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” 

What she means is not that you don’t honor commitments, compromise, or don’t respect other people. It’s that you have to be true and honest with yourself. 

It’s okay to not fit in. You actually don’t want to fit in everywhere. Contrary to what social media makes it look like, it’s not always the more friends the better. I find, especially for old soul students, it’s better to have a few friends you can rely on, and you can be yourself with than to be in a group where you have to put on a mask. 

If you’re saying, “Okay, Maggie, that’s great but I have no friends right now and I’m not feeling good about it.” I hear you. I feel you. I see you. I’m with you. This is tip two: Go to figure out the things that you like to do. 

Do you like working with kids? 

Do you enjoy playing music?

Do you enjoy art? 

Do you enjoy dance?

Do you enjoy reading?

Go do the activities you enjoy people and make it your mission to meet people there. You just have to allow yourself to  be open to making friends wherever you go. For example, you might really love working with kids and get an opportunity to tutor. Can you have a soul connection with the kids that you tutor and also maybe find other people that are tutoring and make a connection with them as well? You already have something big in common with the thing you like to do.

Need more ideas of how to make friends? Check out this podcast:

The focus for old soul fitting in is that soul connection.  I know for myself, I found a lot of belonging by going to the things that interested me regardless of who I thought was going to be there. I can’t tell you how many things I’ve gone to alone and left with a friend because the subject matter was something we had in common.  It takes a little more finessing for an old soul to fit in, but it is so worth it to have a few friends that get you on a deep level!