modern mentorship: getting you across campus (and beyond) one pep talk at a time
It’s been all about friendship in my groups this month where the topic of mean girls has repeatedly come up. It’s inevitable to be around someone you don’t like, but it can feel unbearable if you’re picked on. Check out my video for tips on how to handle a mean girl.
https://youtu.be/WklyB6Lvs-c
Everyone at one time or another gets obsessed. Whether it’s going to a certain college, stuck on being in a friend group, or wanting to get a certain grade in a class, we can get fixated on a situation working out in the exact way we want. So what happens when it doesn’t happen perfectly? Disappointment. Today I’m sharing tips for letting go when you’re obsessing!
https://youtu.be/DpFPQEfuwwU
During college I was on the BC Pom Squad where I danced at all the football and basketball games. Recently, my mom asked me how it felt to cheer on the team all those years. I told her I was a performer, not a cheerleader, but it made me think. I was there to show school spirit and support Boston College so she was right. I was a cheerleader. Over the last few weeks, I’ve realized that I’m still a cheerleader. As a mentor I support and champion for girls all day long. This is the game changer: Everyone needs a cheerleader and it’s the key to confidence.
We all need to hear encouragement from an impartial third party. Parental support is incredibly important, but can sometimes be ignored. A cheerleader guides girls to see their own value. Everyone needs help believing in themselves. There is invaluable strength that comes from having another person cheer you on. Also when you have a cheerleader, it helps you become a better cheerleader for others. Take some time today to send your cheerleaders a little extra love!
Last week I wrote an article for Spire & Co after everything online told me about different ways to improve myself for 2016. Now, I’m all about a fresh start, but instead of changing yourself, I have a different resolution for you: santosha. Santosha is a Sanskrit word meaning contentment. It’s to recognize that you are enough as you are. We ladies feel the pressure to be all the things. We need to be good at every school subject, be in a certain friend group, maintain a specific body type, and post it all online. Those are just things on the outside trying to make us feel better on the inside. Santosha challenges us to know what you need you already have within yourself.
As we head into 2016, I wanted to share my most popular videos over the year. It’s like a big #MeToo or knowing that you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through. Check out what topics were important to girls in 2015!
How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDYKUu84Bc
A couple of weekends ago, I worked on an exciting project with my students (which I cannot wait to share with you soon). During it, I asked each girl what her favorite topic that we’ve covered during our Mentoring Sessions was. EVERY girl said the advice they got about sleeping better was really helpful, so I decided to share it here on the blog today!
Everything You Need to Know Before Going to Prom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhZt9yrVfp0
The whole prom process was stressful for me. Between asking someone to the dance (I went to an all girls high school), finding a dress that I actually felt good in, and praying that I was invited to an after-party, I didn’t really have that much fun because of all the pressure I put on myself. This is all the best Modern Mentor advice for a having authentic fun at prom!
How to Get a Boyfriend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1UdAhdcysk
When my student asked me to help her get a boyfriend I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. As a professional big sister I get relationship questions all the time. In a world of Snapchat, texts, and dating apps, finding someone that’s a good fit can be confusing. If you’ve ever wondered what you need to do to get a boyfriend this blog is for you!
How to Handle Other People’s Bad Attitudes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdIGPmgGUCY
It stinks when you’re excited about something and the people around you aren’t. Maybe you really like soccer practice but everyone else complains about the coach. Maybe you’re really excited about a class, but everyone is down on it. You can’t change other people, but you can help to make the situation better. Click the video to hear what to do when the people around you have a bad attitude.
How to Create Happy Body Habits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRsP2JR6Uig
Sometimes it’s hard to like the way you look. When we think or do negative things to our bodies, it can become a habit without us even knowing it. In today’s video, I’m giving step by step advice for creating happy body habits. You were given your body so that you could share your gifts, not get upset when it doesn’t look the way you want. Check out this video to learn how to make liking yourself a habit!
How to Actually Talk to Your Parents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1BpC5OS8OM
Going to your parents for advice can sometimes be hard, but I know from experience that if you open up to them they can actually be a big help. Plus, they really want to hear from you! Today, I’m sharing helpful tips for talking to your parents or anyone you’re thinking of going to for advice.
What to do when your Best Friend Moves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5gFadVyyU
My best friend moved from NYC to Los Angeles at the end of June. This became a total #MeToo Moment when in a Mentoring Session one of my students told me her best friend was moving too. While it can be sad you won’t see your BFF as often, there are a lot of things to look forward to when a friend moves.
What to do when Mom stops you from doing something fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnNqk6DF9zg
So the title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, but it’s one of the main questions I get. Sometimes our parents can feel like a roadblock to our fun, but what if there was another way to look at it? Check it out!!
What to do when you feel like you don’t have a Best Friend (and Everyone else does)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNEXC1BMbUc
Today’s topic is super important before heading back to school. My students and I have been chatting and one of the biggest worries is friendship. Sometimes we haven’t seen our school friends in awhile and wonder if we’re going to get back into the flow of things. Still the fear I hear about the most is not having a best friend when everyone else does. In today’s video, I’m giving advice about comparing our friendships to others and what to remember on your first day of school!
What Happens When you Put Away your Phone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFO-xlkRSag
A couple weeks ago, my student, Caroline, and I did a phone challenge. I read an article about someone who never looked at his phone when he was around other people so I wanted to try it. Let me tell you… it. was. hard. Check out today’s video where we chat about how it went and what we learned!
My sister and I got back from a trip abroad on Sunday and I literally had the best time ever. With all the quality time, I learned two really big lessons that I feel EVERY GIRL has to know. I definitely struggle with these things and I’m happy I got the opportunity to work on it!
https://youtu.be/4FLlkeQ4AfY
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that there is so much homework before break. Every project is due. There are midterms, finals, and on top of that you have family things on the weekends. Plus you’re eating lots of foods that you don’t normally eat which can make you feel sluggish. Don’t freak out because I got you! These tips are what save me when I feel like I have a lot to do. Check out my tips for managing stress AND I’m giving away a free meditation!
https://youtu.be/WlE1SqQDe_U
https://youtu.be/xn7wLqRMms0
Today I’m sharing what I learned from Taylor Swift about #squadgoals with my best friend, McKenzie. When there’s a lot going on during the holiday season we can get caught up in what everyone else is doing. McKenzie is one of my biggest supports and today we’re chatting about it!
https://youtu.be/vUCI-IyJmOQ
Over the summer, I followed a fitness blogger on Instagram and I constantly compared myself to her. Every time I looked at her posts, I felt like I wasn’t enough. It was nothing she was doing. She has no idea who I am. It was the internal dialogue I had with myself when I looked at her content. I decided to unfollow her in order to choose inspiration that builds me up.
I don’t know one girl who isn’t constantly comparing herself to people online. In a world where there’s a lot of information, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and social media drain, we need to be mindful of what we’re looking at online. The relationship we build with ourselves starts with the inner dialogue we’re having. This means intentionally following people that make us feel good and not bad. Today I’m sharing my top 5 Instagram accounts that bring me positivity and make me smile!
These adorable doodles come with such great messages. Whenever I catch one, I take it as what I needed for the day!
Gabby is my long time mentor. I love her! Her Insta is so inspiring. I love knowing what she’s up to, her tips on life and meditation as well as motivational quotes.
Pumpkin is a rescued raccoon who lives with a family (and dogs) in the Bahamas. She’s so cute and always doing goofy things.
My friend Trella runs a yoga nonprofit called Yogi’s Heart, which brings yoga scholarships to individuals 15-25 years old who want to practice regularly. Her Instagram feed is as beautiful as she is inside and out!
I love to travel and this Insta is like taking a mini vacation. Plus I love learning about new places! #travelgoals
The other day I found myself jealous as I scanned through a (stranger’s) instagram feed. The girl looked like she was having a super successful day while I was figuring out how to delete hacked code from my website… in my pajamas. Jealousy and envy are normal human emotions that aren’t talked about too often. Even in the mentoring groups I run as a professional big sister, we kind of breeze by it and instead talk about comparing. So what is jealousy really? For the rest of the article click here.