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are you an old soul?

fitting in for old souls: a mentor checklist

Ever been called an old soul?

For me, an old soul is someone who is wise and deep. They’re people who are self-reflective, introspective, and thoughtful about themselves and the world. I find that a lot of old souls can be very empathetic or pick up on the feelings of others, but I’m just going to come out and say it: I think old souls can sometimes have a harder time fitting in. Check out this episode for feeling out if you’re an old soul, why it might be harder at first to find your people, and how to make authentic friendships.

 

 

do you relate? check out this podcast on fitting for old souls:

 

fitting in for old souls

post grad, college, and high school mentorship for old souls in young bodies

Anyone ever called you an old soul? 

An old soul, for me, is someone who is really wise, deep, and self-reflective. They tend to be introspective, not only about themselves, but about the world. Typically they’re the people you turn to when you need advice. I find a lot of old souls can be very empathetic or pick up on the feelings of others. Let me tell you, my private practice is full of old soul empaths and I LOVE it! 

but, I’m just going to come out and say it, I think old souls sometimes have a harder time fitting in during their younger years.

When you’re deep and introspective about yourself, about the world, and about others, especially when you’re young, not everyone wants to meet you there. Whenever I’m chatting about fitting in with an old soul client this is what I say:

Who are you trying to fit in with? Are the people you’re looking to hang out with really your people? If you have to be inauthentic in order to fit in, is that really where you want to be? If you’re an old soul, it’s probably a no-go. I think some of the loneliest people out there are the people who give up parts of themselves in order to be a part of a group. 

Glennon Doyle in her book Untamed writes,

“Listen every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” 

What she means is not that you don’t honor commitments, compromise, or don’t respect other people. It’s that you have to be true and honest with yourself. 

It’s okay to not fit in. You actually don’t want to fit in everywhere. Contrary to what social media makes it look like, it’s not always the more friends the better. I find, especially for old soul students, it’s better to have a few friends you can rely on, and you can be yourself with than to be in a group where you have to put on a mask. 

If you’re saying, “Okay, Maggie, that’s great but I have no friends right now and I’m not feeling good about it.” I hear you. I feel you. I see you. I’m with you. This is tip two: Go to figure out the things that you like to do. 

Do you like working with kids? 

Do you enjoy playing music?

Do you enjoy art? 

Do you enjoy dance?

Do you enjoy reading?

Go do the activities you enjoy people and make it your mission to meet people there. You just have to allow yourself to  be open to making friends wherever you go. For example, you might really love working with kids and get an opportunity to tutor. Can you have a soul connection with the kids that you tutor and also maybe find other people that are tutoring and make a connection with them as well? You already have something big in common with the thing you like to do.

Need more ideas of how to make friends? Check out this podcast:

The focus for old soul fitting in is that soul connection.  I know for myself, I found a lot of belonging by going to the things that interested me regardless of who I thought was going to be there. I can’t tell you how many things I’ve gone to alone and left with a friend because the subject matter was something we had in common.  It takes a little more finessing for an old soul to fit in, but it is so worth it to have a few friends that get you on a deep level!

 

thoughts on mentorship for post grads, college students, and more!

mentor support for girls

When I was in my Master’s program, I took a workshop on Jungian psychology. My teacher put a massive pile of magazines on the floor and we picked an image that later became our totem. Unknowingly, I chose the goddess Iris because I loved her gold wings. I found out she’s a messenger goddess typically personified as a rainbow because she is a bridge of communication between heaven and earth.

I related to this right away, but lately, I feel the bridge energy is embodied even more in my private practice.

I am the bridge that helps girls get from where they are to where they want to be.

I help girls walk the bridge from adolescence to adulthood.

I’m also a bridge for parents and their daughters.

Wishing everyone support on whatever bridge you’ve found yourself walking over!

 

does dating stress you out? a pep talk on soulmates

how to overcome overthinking in dating 

Have you ever come home from hanging out with someone or going out on a date and immediately jumped right into your own head about everything?  

“Do they like me?” 

“Are they going to ask me out for a second date?” 

“What do they think of me?” 

“Am I going to ever hear from them again?” 

A big one for me used to be: “Did I say too much???” 

This is one of my favorite topics to mentor on because I’ve had such a profound shift by re-framing dating in the way I’m sharing today. 

There’s a Yiddish word, bashert that Tosha Silver talks about in her book Outrageous Openness, as “meant to be,” in terms of a romantic relationship. If you Google it you’re going to get the sense of bashert meaning “one’s predestined soulmate.” In my opinion, I feel like this is what Taylor Swift talks about in her song Invisible Strings. She writes: 

“And isn’t it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?”


So how does this relate to overthinking in dating? When I applied bashert and invisible strings to dating I became more confident and dating became more fun:

  1. you don’t have to worry about meeting the right person because there are invisible strings that tie you to the people that you’re meant to meet 
  2. if you’re meant to meet certain people and you have a predestined soulmate then you do not have to worry about being yourself. You can relax. Nothing can mess it up.

Side-note, I also think that we have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. Friend soulmates, client soulmates, romantic soulmates. You have invisible strings pulling you to the right people, at the right time.  

Take a second here to think about the invisible strings you have with the people that you love in your life. I think about how I met my best friend on the first day of dance team at college. She grew up in Oklahoma. I grew up in New Jersey. We met at college and it had to take a lot of things to line up for us to be at the same school, at the same time, born in the same year, in the same grade. I thank my invisible strings for that! 

I texted my friend Peri Zarrella who is an intuitive counselor about invisible strings too because I could not help myself! When she feels into people’s energy especially romantic energy or partnership energy she says, 

“I see bonds like a string like a Venn diagram. I always see three energies. Person A’s energy,  Person B’s energy, and then AB the shared connection. If it’s an unconditional love bond I see a thread connecting the two in love.” 

What’s really cool is that Peri can see these bonds before people even meet. That for me shows that there’s an invisible connection pulling two people together. If there’s already a pull there for you, can you relax into trusting in bashert? 

If you’re someone trying to call in a partner or want to be in a relationship you can take some time to meditate upon the invisible strings. Imagine you’re pulling in the right person like a magnet. You can pull in your invisible strings. 

If you’re someone who goes into straight overthinking mode especially in dating remember those who are meant to meet will meet and there’s an invisible string that ties to the right people, in the right way, at the right time. There’s nothing you need to but be yourself. 

top 10 what a time podcast episodes

Most Downloaded Wellness Podcast Episodes For College Students and Post Grads

I’ve had my podcast for a year now and wanted to share my top 10 podcast episodes as an access point to what topics have been important to girls and parents. I always love when other podcasts share these lists because I’m curious to see what people found interesting. I hope you enjoy!

ep. 23 essence energy with peri zarrella 

ep. 17 all the stress 

ep. 5 women’s health with nurse practitioner julia huff 

ep. 12 on being ghosted 

ep. 19 when expectations don’t meet reality 

ep. 21 does he like me or is it quarantine 

ep 24 mentor minute with megan mcdowell 

ep. 20 corona mentorship

ep. 7 find your tribe 

ep. 14 low bar meditating 

a pep talk for when you’re being hard on yourself

Two Tips for Managing Perfectionism

So many of my students are perfectionists and I really relate to this because I’m hard on myself too. If you put a lot of pressure on yourself this is the right episode for you:  

I was at a dance class once and we did an improv warm-up. The teacher was like, “move like you’re sad, move like it’s sunny, move like it’s windy, move like you’re happy.” She had all these different prompts and then I made a joke that we should move like you’re thinking about something weird you did in 2007. Everyone laughed because everyone related to bringing up something in your mind that you’ve done wrong before and replaying it in your head.

My mentor Megan McDowell always tells me that sometimes I don’t want to accept my humanness. All that means is that I have limitations and that as a human I fall short at times. It’s not even really that you’re falling short it just is that you are human. I did an interview with Megan here that’s on feeling big feelings and if you’re perfection-y I am SURE you’re working through some big feelings: 

If you’re someone who ruminates on things you’ve did wrong or something that you feel bad about, remember shortcomings are part of being human. Your limitations make you human; not something to continue to beat yourself up about.

When I’m being hard on myself, I find it really helpful to just identify my own humanness. I name the mistake as my humanness and in recognizing it for what it is, it sort of dissipates. I don’t hold the same standards for myself that I was the moment before I pointed out my humanness.

An exercise I do when I’m getting in a perfection-y rumination spiral is I have a chat with the 80 year old version of myself so it’s Grandma Maggie in my head. I have a conversation with this older wiser version of myself that has lived more life than I’ve lived right now and I kind of see what she has to say about it.  Whether it’s through journaling or meditation. She NEVER tells me to beat myself up more. She mostly just tells me to let it go. It’s always really helpful to have this loving conversation with the older wiser version of myself. You could even see it as maybe talking to your higher-self.

If you’re someone who identifies as a perfectionist I am holding space for you and I get it! Sending everyone so much love!

 

Screen Time Shift that Changed my Confidence

When you’re aware of the life happening right in front of you, right in the present moment, right in your present body, you’re able to be open for what’s meant for you, for what you want,  and what you’re calling in. 

Every Sunday I get a little ding on my phone that tells me how much screen time I’ve had that week and every time I see it I’m pretty horrified… and yet I consistently do nothing about it… until a few weeks ago.

I looked at my usage and it seemed like an absurd amount to spend on a digital brick in my hand so I decided to ask myself what would be a reasonable amount of time to spend on to an app and set an app limit.  The results were amazing because it really just highlighted how addicted I am to my phone. Let me tell you, it does not feel good, at first, to have a limit. 

Whenever we’re upset I know we can turn to our phones and mindlessly scroll in order to numb out when we’re uncomfortable. We use our phones like a buffer. To be really present and really available for what was in front of me felt really uncomfortable at first until I realized a few other things: 

I was happier.

I felt like I was more present with my friends. I felt like I have the ability when I’m out to be more present, even more romantically open. I was clearer in my thinking because I wasn’t constantly head down in an app. Physically it’s also not cute to be hunched over as well. I also happened to watched The Social Dilemma documentary and it made me want to take other steps towards some digital detoxing, but let me tell you the biggest improvement came from those app timers. I learned the following things: 

  1. It freed up a lot of my time 
  2. I was forced to be more present in my real life 
  3. I realized that presence is really really attractive 

When you are aware of the life happening right in front of you right in the present moment right in your present body you’re able to be open for what’s meant for you for what you want for what you’re calling in and that’s really important. 

Someone not on their phone is more available, they’re more fun to be around, and they’re not hunched over. There’s not anything wrong with being on your phone, but I do think there’s something to be said about how much we are on our phones, how much we’re absorbing, and how much we’re taking in whether or not we noticed it. 

If you’re looking to make some life improvements I suggest setting an app timer on your phone. If you have an iPhone it’s right there in settings you can do it right this second if you want and just see what that opens up for you. I know for me, it made a huge difference and that’s why I’m sharing it here with you guys.

 

post grad pep-talk podcast playlist

Advice for Postgrads

I feel like no one ever tells you that your 20’s are going to be a different kind of hard. This is the age where I found all my mentors and wish I had them earlier. Check out this post-grad pep-talk playlist on navigating life after college!